Tuesday, September 9, 2014
You've been on my mind non stop....how you would have loved seeing Elli on her birthday, how you would have loved hearing all about their first days of school, how you would have loved seeing Addi's senior yearbook picture. You would have gushed about how beautiful she looked and been so proud to see her wearing your necklace. I think about how I would be visiting you each week and bringing the kids to see you. Cal misses taking out your trash, and Drew misses doing your laundry. They all miss your cheerful and excited greetings and giving you a hug. I got a phone call from your doctor today asking you to come in and schedule an appointment. I guess he didn't know. I watched a video of a sweet elderly lady dancing in the street, and it reminded me of you. Cal asked me where we would go on December 23rd....your birthday, and I told him I didn't know. I haven't been able to sleep much, and I find myself feeling lost and lonely. I keep trying to remember your voice and smile and laugh and so much about you....I don't want to forget. It scares me to think I might. I find myself feeling sad knowing I don't have you to experience Addi's senior year with me. Today is a day when I just need to be sad and miss you with my whole being. I miss you mama.