Thursday, May 28, 2015

May 28th....The Best Day of 1999!

Happy Birthday to my Lone Ranger, my favorite boy, my only son! Callahan Leigh Payne graced us with his presence SIXTEEN years ago today, on my Mamaw's 80th birthday! 9 lb. 13 oz. + no drugs = hard delivery, but I wouldn't change a thing! He was a challenging infant but a happy happy happy baby/toddler, who didn't speak, but could hum the tune of every song he heard. He has been dealt many challenges, but my-oh-my how wonderfully he has embraced who he is. And although I don't think he fully understands that he's "different", I hope he understands that he's special. have taught me more about life than anyone else I have ever known. You make everyone's life better. 
I adore you!!  XOXO!!

Thursday, May 14, 2015


People come and people go.  Some that go are rarely thought of again, and some that go are thought every day.  My friend Lina went to heaven today.  She was the most thoughtful and selfless person I've ever known.  I know many thoughtful and selfless people, but she was that way every minute of every day.  I loved her deeply and my heart is sad. The deeper we love someone, the more difficult the letting go can be.  For me having the opportunity to know Lina and call her my friend is worth all of the grief.  God used her so well, and her beautiful legacy will live on in her 6 lovely children.  They shine brightly like their mama.  You have taught me so much and have touched so many lives.  I  know that your spirit will continue to do so. I miss you Lina, and I will pray for your family and always be there for them.  I'm thankful you are no longer in pain and are at peace in the arms of Jesus, and you are one that I will think of every day.

Wednesday, May 6, 2015


It's been a year since she left this earth.  We have been hugged on and loved on and prayed for, and it has helped us a has helped.  It is still hard, and I keep waiting for it to get easier.  When my dad died, it took a long time for it to get easier; but it did.  I think losing my mom was like losing them both all over again.  I don't have my parents here with me, and my kids don't have their Moo & Papa, and NPayne doesn't have his in-laws, and so many people miss them.  I think the hardest part has been seeing my kids suffer, especially, my Addi.  It has been really hard on her.  She's a senior this year, and there are lots of exciting things that come with being a senior.  Losing both of her grandmothers in less than a year has been really difficult, and I know there is a cloud of sadness over the things we are celebrating. Her grandparents are rejoicing over her and the person she is....this I know....without a doubt.  I think it's harder to cling to that when you're 18 and so many things are changing in your life....when you have no idea what the future holds.  That can be exciting and terrifying.  I have been on my knees more this year than I have in a long time, and I give glory to God for carrying me through so many hard times....not just in this year....but in my life.  I'll admit He is not always where I look first to find joy and peace during hard times, but when I finally go to Him....He provides!  Thank you for your hugs and support and keep on hugging us....we need it more this year than we did last year.