Friday, April 3, 2020

What Does Quarantine Look Like For You?

I was wondering what quarantine, another time of the year, would be like in Texas...missing the beginning of school & football, missing Halloween, Fall Festivals, gathering for Thanksgiving with extended family and friends, missing all the things Christmas/New Years, soccer, or missing summer camps/mission trips, spring break trips, baseball and the freedom of summer?  There's a lot that would be missed no matter what time of year this happened, and I know I probably left out things that some of you would miss.  There would be disappointment and grief for different things for different folks at different times of the year.  Everyone is affected differently and missing out on things that are  important and sometimes life changing. But right now....EVERYONE in our country, maybe the world, is affected.  I'm disappointed for things that have been canceled for my my family; but I'm more worried about those who have lost their jobs, who don't have a safe place to go, who are first responders or essential workers, those who are vulnerable or sick.  I'm sad for all of our friends, who are seniors, and may miss out on all of their "lasts".  I'm so so sad to hear about weddings and funerals that aren't able to happen, people who are separated from their families. I can't imagine the stress and pain for those who can't be with their sick and/or dying loved ones. Everyone probably will or has already lost something.  I'm all for making the most of time at home, because I like being home.  I actually prefer it.  I like being able to get things done that I've wanted to do.  I like being with my family.  I like downtime A LOT!! I even like my younger girls doing school at home.  Most of the days have been good, but I do find myself floundering, stagnant, cranky and sad from time to time.  I'm so thankful to be able to go outside....especially when it's sunny.  Although more days have been good than not, my nights have been difficult.  I've been more anxious in the last few weeks than I have been in my entire life.  I wake up feeling like something is sitting on me and cannot catch my breath, my thoughts wander off into craziness, and I've been having very vivid and sometimes terrible dreams.  I know I'm fortunate, and there are people suffering through much harder...even before this pandemic.  I have always struggled with guilt over having things better or easier or safer or healthier than so many others.  The wisest man I have ever met once told me that I should turn that guilty feeling into gratitude and then do something with what I have to offer to assist those who need it.  That advice has served me well, but what I'm struggling with now is how to help people, when I can't leave the house; because I'm a hands on helper.  I think the best things I can do to help others right now is pray, let others know I'm thinking about them and praying for them, support small business and charities, engage with people via all the amazing technology out there, and stay home. One thing I've realized is that we are truly all in this together, no matter your opinion, circumstance, good, bad or in between.  Everyone in our country and probably soon to be our entire world are feeling or will be feeling the direct effects of the same thing which is still so surreal to me.  So if you're embracing this quarantine time, trying to survive it or somewhere in the middle; we are all in this together.  There is no right, wrong, good or bad way to feel.  Your feelings may fluctuate a little or every other minute, but they are your feelings.  It's okay to be okay, and it's okay not to be okay.  Let's take care of each other and love each other and do what we are asked to do...."Love is the last thing we need to ration right now."  I read this from Brene Brown, and I though it was extremely valuable during this unprecedented and unknown time.