Tuesday, January 23, 2018

Happiness....I Was Wrong About You!

Until very recently, I always firmly believed happiness was a choice anyone could make.  I've written about it a few times on my blog and my reasons for believing this.  I've shared this belief with many people. I do still believe that in certain situations and circumstances, happiness can be a choice.  I do, I do believe that.  However recently I was talking with a few different people, one being one of my daughters, and I started to see things differently.  After some really deep conversations, I've realized that not everyone is able to make the choice to be happy.  Sometimes there are things that just won't allow happiness to be an option.  It might be something situational, physical, emotional, circumstantial; but there are people who are not able to choose happiness.   The more I've witnessed this in my own child, as well as, in others; the more I have wondered how many people I've misguided.  WOW...I was so naive.  It doesn't mean that it will never be an available choice, it means that at certain times; it may not. One of the things I recently discovered was telling someone to "choose to be happy", when they cannot figure out how to do that or just don't have that choice as an option, can just make things much worse.  This has been weighing heavily on my heart, mind and soul.  I have let people down with this response....particularly my own child.  I didn't take the time to really listen to her all those years ago when I first began to instruct her to make this choice, and honestly I just didn't remember when I couldn't make that choice either.  There was a time I had, long ago, when I couldn't find happiness anywhere; no matter how hard I looked.  I know now that I didn't want to remember that time or reflect on it, but over the last few years; I've been forced to in order to help guide my own girls and let them know they are not alone.  It's been hard, I mean really hard.  Seeing someone you love with your whole self feel hopeless is truly devastating.  Not being able to help them to the other side is extremely painful...especially when you remember that feeling.  Through all the pain and heartbreak, one thing that I do firmly believe is that God brings good out of all things.  It doesn't mean it's less painful or devastating, but I think it can mean it can possibly help someone else or even yourself see that it wasn't all in vain; and someone else will know he/she is not alone.  As I've been reflecting on my own time of hopelessness, so long ago, this was confirmed for me even more....God brings good....God is good!  As I've grown older, had more life experiences and learned to trust more in Jesus (which is still a huge work in progress); I'm able to see the good more clearly.  It doesn't always mean that I'll be happy.  What I've gained from my relationship with Jesus is an inner joy I can feel even in the unhappiest of times.  It gives me a peace I cannot fully explain. If I didn't have faith and the knowledge that something beautifully perfect awaits, I'm not sure how I would survive sometimes.  But I do, and I am eternally grateful!
I read this insightful article today, and I thought I would post the link here.