Wednesday, June 29, 2016

God Doesn't Give Us More Than We Can Handle....You Betcha He Doesn't!!

Sometimes I hear things, and I have to think about them for a looooong time.  Sometimes I hear things, and I immediately have a response.  One thing that I've heard repeatedly for years is this:
"God doesn't give you more than you can handle".  I am pretty certain I've even read that on plaques and wall hangings and other places as well.  That is one of those sayings that I thought about for a loooooong time.  After many painful life experiences, I started to get irritated when I would hear that phrase.  One time I even remember spouting off a response sort of like this: "Of course He doesn't.  He doesn't give you pain at all."  I don't believe God brings pain to our world and to us. I do believe that He allows things to happen that can be painful.  I also believe that He brings good from all circumstances....sometimes we may not see it, but someone else will.  Sometimes we have to search really hard to see it, and sometimes we don't see it for a long long time.  Why does He allow pain in our lives?  I don't know that answer.  People often say, "We will find out when we get to heaven".  Honestly I cannot even imagine entering heaven and thinking about anything but....WOW!  HERE I AM! Pain?  What pain?  I know that long ago in the garden, we chose free will; and part of free will is consequences...good or bad.  I also believe that God doesn't give us more than we can handle.  Sometimes He allows things, and they may seem like more than we can handle; because they are.  They are more than we can handle without Him.  I read this today in Jesus Calling which is what stirred up this post.

As You Get Out of Bed
As you get out of bed in the morning, be aware of My Presence with you.  You may not be thinking clearly yet, but I am.  Your early morning thoughts tend to be anxious ones until you get connected with Me.  Invite Me into your thoughts by whispering My Name.  Suddenly your day brightens and feels more user-friendly.  You cannot dread a day that is vibrant with My Presence.
You gain confidence through knowing that I am with you-that you face nothing alone.  Anxiety stems from asking the wrong question:  "If such and such happens, can I handle it?"  The true question is not whether you can cope with whatever happens, but whether you and I together can handle anything that occurs.  It is this you-and-I-together factor that gives you confidence to face the day cheerfully.  In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.  Psalm 5:3

O God, You are  my God, early will I seek You; my should thirsts for You;  my flesh longs for You in a dry and thirsty land where there is no water.  Psalm 63:1

I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.  Philippine 4:13

Friday, June 24, 2016


Sometimes I wonder...okay actually often I wonder...what more is there? I am happy and have wonderful family, friends and more than I could ever need. I've rarely ever worked a job I didn't enjoy. We have a nice home, cars that run and good health (at least most of us). NPayne has a job that pays pretty well, provides insurance and some retirement. Still I this it? Neil doesn't love his job. It doesn't bring him joy, and I often think he's not reaching his potential or using his gifts. I'm not saying this just because he's my awesome husband and father of my children, but because I truly believe it. Neil has a gift in service. He serves so well, and he serves well alongside teens. He is a good leader. He is a good encourager. He is a good listener. He is a good example. He has always sacrificed, so I could work a job I loved (since I can't seem to find a job I love that pays enough to support the family).  He has sacrificed so our kids would have more than they need. He is good at his job, actually he is great at his job: but I wonder if there could be more for him. Would it be worth it for him to leave a secure, decent paying, insurance providing job for a new start? Leave it for something that would be hard and new and pay significantly less? Leave it for something where his family would have to make sacrifices for him? Leave it for something that would bring joy to so many...especially him. I think it would. Now I just have to convince him.

Tuesday, June 14, 2016


I don't even know where to start...I don't know what to say...I don't know what to think, except that I'm sad and a little scared.  Things, in this our country, seem out of control.  Another shooting....49 people dead....for what?  For What?  Because someone didn't agree with who they love?  Because someone didn't agree with their lifestyle?  Because someone thought his way was the only way?  I haven't said anything regarding the shooting in Orlando, because honestly I didn't know what to say.  I didn't, but what I do know is this.....violence is never the answer.  Acting out of hate is never the answer.  Murder is never the answer.  I've tried hard to be careful in what I choose to read about this attack.  I've read a few posts on social media....kind and loving posts, and then I've read a few comments.  This is where I have to shut it down.  People take someone's genuine hurt and concern for the people of Orlando, for the state of our country and turn it into a battle about who is right and who is wrong.  I don't understand....I just don't!  How could someone gun down innocent people because they didn't live the way he thought they should?   How can people be so cruel to those who are heartbroken who are trying to show support and love, because they don't support the LGBT community?  I'm gonna say it out loud, right doesn't matter what you believe about homosexuality; nobody should die because they are gay.  It doesn't matter if you support the LGBT community or not, cold blooded murder is not acceptable.  God didn't orchestrate this....God loves all of His people....every single one of us.  He doesn't "punish" this way.  We don't all agree, that's part of free choice, part of being human, part of life; and the good thing is....we don't have to....we live in The Home of the Free.  BUT....we need to come together during tragedies, not apart.  We keep getting further and further apart, and making it all about "I'm right, and you're wrong!" That is not what our country was born on, that is not what our country is suppose to be about.  We are suppose to live in a civilized country, where people can agree to disagree and express themselves and their beliefs, in a civilized manner.  I keep hearing and reading things like...."It's so tragic, but...."  There should be no "but", it's tragic....and devastating and horrific and excuse.  If you believe homosexuality is a sinful act, IT DOESN'T MATTER!  If you believe homosexuality is not a sinful act, IT DOESN'T MATTER!  People trying to justify this massacre is just plain ridiculous. We, as a people of the USA, are out of control.  The government is out of control, the election is out of control, the country is out of control, the world is out of control.  When innocent people are massacred, and we are arguing about whether we support the LGBT community or not; we are out of control.  We have missed the point....NOBODY DESERVES TO BE GUNNED DOWN, BECAUSE OF WHO THEY ARE, WHO THEY LOVE OR THEIR LIFESTYLE....NOBODY!  I've never ever classified my family & friends as gay, straight, black, white, asian, single, married, divorced, Christian, Atheist, Muslim, Jewish, etc. ....I've just been grateful they are my family & friends and love me for who I am.  I'm praying for the people of Orlando. I'm praying for our country.  I'm praying for our leaders.  I'm praying for the people who wrote some of the horrendous comments I've come across, and that they will see that this isn't about being "right".  It's about coming together and figuring out how to keep this from continuing to happen!!  PERIOD!!!!  I hope Jesus comes back soon.  But until then.... I think I'm gonna write in "Savior" on the election ballot, because He's the only one who can save us from ourselves.

Happy 24th Wedding Anniversary NPayne!!

Happy 24th Wedding Anniversary NPayne! We've been together more than half our lives and have grown up together....and are still growing. 24 years ago today...we jumped in feet first and didn't really think about anything but that we loved each other hard...and that would be enough. We both just knew the rest would work itself out. You have been by my side through the best and worst moments of my life...held my hand through the good and the not so good and all the in-betweens. What in the world was I thinking when I said....I AM NEVER GETTING MARRIED all those years ago? I don't know, but I'm thankful God orchestrated things differently. I'm thankful that He softened my heart through you. I'm thankful He has shown me the best kind of love through you. I'm thankful for your calm, rational and loving approach in everything you do. I'm thankful for those 5 beautiful people we have and that you are their dad, because there is not a better person to guide them, support them, encourage them, and love them than you. God has taught me so much through you, but mostly He has taught me about love, kindness, gentleness and trust in this life we have together. Through you, God has shown me that there is always something to be grateful for and what a servant's heart looks like. Once again, we are apart on our anniversary; because you are out doing what you do best....serving and loving others. So today, I just need to say THANK YOU, with all that I have, to my handsome hunk of a rockstar are definitely the better half in this duo!