Quarantine Day "WHO EVEN KNOWS"

Day "who knows" of quarantine.  Some people are documenting daily, some are not.  Some are doing amazing, and some are barely getting by.  I have not been counting the days.  To be honest, it would make me anxious.  I've had a brief taste of anxiety over the last few weeks, and I'm not a fan.
If I were at school, I would have "60 days" written on my big chalkboard and would lower it accordingly as we came to the close of the school year.  But now, I don't count.  I have found myself looking forward to things we will be able to do once this is all over, but I don't count the days.  I am grieving things that won't happen, but I don't count the days. I have read many suggestions on coping with being in quarantine, and many are really good; but I don't count the days.
This time has meant different things for all of us.  For some, it has meant slowing down.  For some, it has meant increase worry.  For some, it has meant more time to do things they've been wanting to do.  For some, it has meant more work due to their jobs.   For some, it has meant no work due to losing their jobs.  For some, it has meant time enjoying family, or for some...too much time with family.  For some, it has meant forced separation from family.  For some, it has meant time to try something new.  For some, it has meant loss and sadness...devastation.  And for some, it has meant great great risk.  No matter your circumstance, you are impacted.
I've been fortunate enough to be at home with my family, the weather has been great, my husband and I both still have our jobs, we have essential needs, and we are all healthy.  Although things are good here, I find my mind constantly wandering to the "What If".  I also find myself feeling guilty, because things are good for us when so many are suffering.  I find myself feeling desperate and overwhelmed with worry for so so many people.  I've had to do things more intentionally to keep myself from spiraling downward.
I limit what I read, regarding the state of our world, to the very minimal and only to gain information.  I knock something off my huge "I've been wanting to get these things done for years" list every day.  I do something I enjoy.  I do something I may not enjoy but needs to get done.  I rest.  I read "Jesus Calling" every day.  I deep clean something daily.  I get rid of stuff. I keep a schedule, so I will get out of bed; and I'll admit that sometimes I crawl back in.  I exercise.  I go outside.  I spend time alone, and I spend time with my family.  I listen to my mind and body and when they need to retreat, I let them.  I thank God each morning that my eyes open.  I look for something funny everyday and laugh a whole lot about it and keep laughing into the next day.  I read for pleasure and for hope.  I have long conversations with God.  I bake...hence exercise.  ;) I recognize the people and things I am grateful for.  I tell them that I am grateful for them.   I embroidery and paint and write. I read my Bible, and I share God's encouraging word of hope.  I talk with my family and friends about life, struggles and memories.  I pray intentional prayers for those who are risking so much for this world, for those who are struggling, for those who are living a nightmare, for those who are grieving, for those who are experiencing trauma, for those who have experienced tragic loss.  I pray for those who are doing well, and for those who are paying it forward.
But in all of this,  I do not count the days.  I believe that is what keeps me moving forward.
And every night when I find it hard to sleep and my thoughts turn to angst, I remember this quote from Billy Graham:
"I've read the last page of The Bible, It's all going to turn our alright."

March 3rd....Best Day of 1997

Happy 23 years around the sun to my oldest child, Addison Jo Payne! The one who made me a mom. I remember calling my own mother, a few days, after you were born and telling her that now I truly understood how much she loved me. You were the most beautiful baby I had ever seen, and people told you and me that all the time. When you were a toddler, I didn't want you to think beautiful was the only thing you were; so I would say "You're so smart and funny"! And wouldn't you know it, we were all right; because you are all 3: beautiful, smart and funny! I taught you all the things by the time you were two: alphabet, numbers, colors, shapes, how to write your name, every single animal sound there was, how to shake your tail feathers, dance a jig, and much more. You soaked it up like a little sponge and when your sisters came along, you were the one doing the teaching. I think you taught Drew, Bryna and Elliot all how to read and always made it so much fun that I don't think they even realized they were learning all the things you were teaching. You are one of the main reasons your sisters have such caring and generous hearts. It all started with you and a lemonade stand, when you were a little girl, to raise awareness for autism; because you loved your baby brother so much. It was because you gave/give so much of yourself to your siblings and how you love them to the moon and back. The relationship you all share is truly the greatest gift to me!
You're an amazing and extremely talented artist, and one of the most creative people I know. You're quiet wit is one of my favorite things in the world. You have fought some big big battles, and I'm so proud and thankful for your bravery and strength. Your faith and love for Jesus is contagious, and you are going to continue to do so much good just by letting The Lord guide your steps. He is using you well. Keep inspiring, shining, leading and loving!! Although you have been an adult for several years now, you will always be my beautiful, smart, funny baby! I adore you! You are my sunshine!! Love, Mama