No Words

 I love words, and I've had many lately.  But for this time in life, they have been just for me; so I have not shared publicly.  

For years, I have included a Christmas letter with our Christmas card.  For a few years, Addi wrote it and did a wonderful job.  When I sat down to write the letter this year, I had decided to try to share positives from 2020; because 2020 has been A LOT!!!!  As I started writing some of the positive things that have come out of this weird, sad, crazy, scary year; I quickly decided to abort the letter writing.  For everything I was going to write, that I saw as a positive, I knew there would be many that might be affected in a negative way.  My first positive was the extra family time we had during quarantine, but when I started to write about things we did; I immediately thought of those who have suffered loss of family through isolation, separation and death.  So my letter writing was abandoned.  

I have been able to write Christmas letters in some of my hardest and saddest times, because I am very intentional on gratitude and finding things to be grateful for. I'm not really a glass half empty or a glass half full kinda gal, but more of a "Why didn't someone put this glass away?" kinda gal. 😜 But this year is different.  Writing about the good things I've seen as a result of this pandemic didn't seem appropriate at all.  It didn't feel genuine, not because it isn't....I have seen a lot of good....but because I have also seen so much of other people's pain.  Living during this pandemic hasn't been difficult for me, but it has been so much more difficult for others. The overwhelming amount of people who have suffered financially, physically, mentally, spiritually and had their hearts broken wide open is daunting and astronomical.  Sometimes no words are the appropriate response and this year is one of those times.