Do you feel unseen, invaluable, insignificant? Do people always seem to make plans that don't include you? Does it seem nobody notices when good things happen for you or bad things? Do people turn up the music or turn on the garbage disposal when you're on a zoom call? Do your dreams seem unimportant? Do your needs go unnoticed? Do your loved ones forget to tell you goodnight or goodbye or good morning? Do your co-workers turn out the light at the end of the day not noticing that you are still sitting at your desk? Do people tell you their goods and bads but walk away without asking about yours? Does it seem nobody has time for you?
I've been in a time of deep reflection and self care and something I've been working on is remembering that I am a treasure to Jesus. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night with the elephant of anxiety sitting fully on my chest, and I'm not sure why; but I think I'm figuring it out. I think God is at work telling me that He sees me, and I am important. I don't think God causes this anxiousness to happen, but He uses that time of unease to bring me to a place where I have to consciously force myself to regain peace. Sure I've been anxious from time to time in my life, but I've never experienced it like this. So when it happens, I get up, take some deep breaths, get a cool drink of water and remind myself that I am okay. I am okay. And then for the first time that I can ever remember after waking up in the middle of the night, I am able to fall soundly back to sleep. God at work! He is good! I am a treasure!
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