Thursday, February 5, 2015

Happy Birthday Dad!

For the first time in a while, I have a little downtime.  I sit in my dark, quiet house and think and cry and think.
One of my lifelong friend's dad's died unexpectedly Friday morning....the same day as my mother-in-law's funeral.  As I sat in the church yesterday and listened to the Latin Mass, I thought about him....her dad.  And I thought about dad.  And I watched other friend with both of her parents there.  I smiled as I remembered things her dad would say and do when we were younger, and I thought about my dad.  I thought about the things that he did that drove me nuts, and I smiled; because I found myself thinking that those things would still drive me nuts even though I miss my dad like crazy.  I thought about how my friend told us that her dad would tuck her in at night like a papoose, so he could hug and kiss her until she laughed.  I thought about how my dad would always kiss and hug me goodbye and hello.  I thought about how she didn't get to say goodbye to her dad, because he died before she got there.  I thought about the last things I said to my dad, and the smiles on his face even though he could no longer speak.  I thought about my friend sitting with both of her parents, who are approaching their 80th birthdays; and I wondered....does she know how fortunate she is?  Of course she does, but does she really?  Today is my dad's birthday.  He would have been 72.  This year marks 10 years since he left this earth, and yes my life has carried on....all of ours have....but it has not been the same.  My kids no longer have the luxury of a living grandparent...not even one.  My grandparents were so instrumental in my life, and it makes me sad to know my children will miss out on that.  They have so much support from family and friends, and I am so thankful for that; but it will never be the same.  Happy Birthday Dad aka Papa aka Russ!  We miss you like crazy!

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