Wednesday, May 6, 2015

HUGS

It's been a year since she left this earth.  We have been hugged on and loved on and prayed for, and it has helped us a lot....it has helped.  It is still hard, and I keep waiting for it to get easier.  When my dad died, it took a long time for it to get easier; but it did.  I think losing my mom was like losing them both all over again.  I don't have my parents here with me, and my kids don't have their Moo & Papa, and NPayne doesn't have his in-laws, and so many people miss them.  I think the hardest part has been seeing my kids suffer, especially, my Addi.  It has been really hard on her.  She's a senior this year, and there are lots of exciting things that come with being a senior.  Losing both of her grandmothers in less than a year has been really difficult, and I know there is a cloud of sadness over the things we are celebrating. Her grandparents are rejoicing over her and the person she is....this I know....without a doubt.  I think it's harder to cling to that when you're 18 and so many things are changing in your life....when you have no idea what the future holds.  That can be exciting and terrifying.  I have been on my knees more this year than I have in a long time, and I give glory to God for carrying me through so many hard times....not just in this year....but in my life.  I'll admit He is not always where I look first to find joy and peace during hard times, but when I finally go to Him....He provides!  Thank you for your hugs and support and keep on hugging us....we need it more this year than we did last year.

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