It's been a year since she left this earth. We have been hugged on and loved on and prayed for, and it has helped us a lot....it has helped. It is still hard, and I keep waiting for it to get easier. When my dad died, it took a long time for it to get easier; but it did. I think losing my mom was like losing them both all over again. I don't have my parents here with me, and my kids don't have their Moo & Papa, and NPayne doesn't have his in-laws, and so many people miss them. I think the hardest part has been seeing my kids suffer, especially, my Addi. It has been really hard on her. She's a senior this year, and there are lots of exciting things that come with being a senior. Losing both of her grandmothers in less than a year has been really difficult, and I know there is a cloud of sadness over the things we are celebrating. Her grandparents are rejoicing over her and the person she is....this I know....without a doubt. I think it's harder to cling to that when you're 18 and so many things are changing in your life....when you have no idea what the future holds. That can be exciting and terrifying. I have been on my knees more this year than I have in a long time, and I give glory to God for carrying me through so many hard times....not just in this year....but in my life. I'll admit He is not always where I look first to find joy and peace during hard times, but when I finally go to Him....He provides! Thank you for your hugs and support and keep on hugging us....we need it more this year than we did last year.
I started journaling several years ago when I realized that I couldn't possibly remember every milestone, cute phrase, wonderful expression, heart tugging word or life changing action that occurs within my own family. I had to face the fact that my brain has become fuller and fuller with each baby born and each day that passes; and now it's overloaded. I find myself having to write down everything from a daily "To Do" list to much more important things like the first time my son kissed me on the lips. I don't want to take anything for granted and chance that I might not remember. I journal in a notebook, in my own handwriting, with the intent and hope that someday my sweet buttercups will cherish having these journals in their mama's own handwriting. I started this blog, because there are some things that are meant to be shared and some things that I hope someone will read and enjoy. Maybe I can learn something from a reader or two as well.
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I am happy to say....
Jesus is my first love!
My children are beautiful, inside and out!
I'm as happy as I've ever been!
NPayne thinks I'm beautiful!
I LOVE vintage!
I live in America!
I let my children get dirty!
I thoroughly enjoy Bible Study!
I'm addicted to linens!
I enjoy watching football on TV!
I live in a house full of imagination!
I pray for world peace!
I support our troops and pray for them daily!
I am VERY sentimental!
My parents were married for 40 years!
I love thrift stores and flea markets!
My favorite room in my house is the nursery!
There are 4 princesses and one prince in my house which makes me a Queen!
I buy organic and eat organic!
We pray together!
I'm a free spirit with an old soul!
My house is covered in photographs of my family!
Four of my five children can make their own breakfast!
I LOVE Saturday Night Disco at our house!
I am shabby chic....maybe a little more shabby than chic!
My children love each other very much!
I wanted a huge family, at least 7 children!
I love making something old into something beautiful!
My wedding ring is an emerald!
I still have a baby in my house!
I have my mother's every day dishes!
I have my mother in law's china!
I try extremely hard not to be judgemental!
My house is 100 years old!
My bed is one of my favorite places to be!
Music often moves me to tears!
I am very easily amused!
I read The Bible!
NPayne and I have a date each week!
I love being a mother with every ounce of my being!
All my babies were delivered by the same doctor!
I have date days with each of my children!
I absolutely loved being pregnant!
I will have eternal life!
I drink a lot of coffee!
I'm a teacher!
I love my church!
I am creative!
I recycle A LOT!
This is my natural hair color (sort of).
I bake with my children every week!
I'm very low maintenance!
I love my girlfriends!
I have good, I mean really good, children!
I'm a believer!
Our family has lots of traditions!
I adore my husband!
My children think I'm the best mom in the whole world!
Add to the madness!!!
Even though we ain't got money....
I'm so in love with you honey!
Read about Fragile X and Autism by clicking on Cal's picture!