I'm at work today and finished up with everything early, so I decided to clean out my work and personal emails. With 5 children and my own personal emails, I get bombarded with thousands of emails. Currently I have tens of thousands of emails in my inbox. Honestly I'm not sure how to tell how many exactly, and I don't delete them; because there is no way to delete them all at once....it's page by page by page by page, etc. So why bother?? I do have folders for each child, along with many other things, that I need to keep organized. I was glancing at all of those and contemplating which to start on when I came across the folder titled Mom, Sandy, Moo. I haven't looked in that folder in a very long time, but today I did. There were emails about flowers and headstones and lift chairs, and then I found the last one she sent us on 3/4/14. It said what they always said....LOVE YOU ALL..MOM, SANDY, MOO! It was exactly what I was hoping to find, because I miss her. I did an email search and so many popped up. I looked at them, and the tears started and would not stop. If anyone had been in the office today, they would have surely thought I had lost my mind. Thankfully I'm basically alone here today, so I just let the tears fall and ugly crying took over. I felt better and worse, because although that pain does ease...it's never gone.
Every now and then, it even feels brand new.