DO BETTER

Sixth grade awards were last night.  Although Elliot knew she was not being honored with an award, she wanted to go to support all of her friends that were.  I have a gazillion things to do, and I secretly despise awards ceremonies; but I agreed to take her.  When we arrived, it was immediately awkward; because she wasn't sure if she could sit with her friends or not...since she was not receiving an award.  She quickly inspected and decided she would and went and sat with the others.  I stayed in the back.  The ceremony was one of the best I've attended....it was efficient with not too much fluff.  Pretty much every single one of her friends were recipients of at least one award.  She was very proud of them and so was I.  They were all so deserving.  After the ceremony, I spoke to a few people and then looked around for her.  Neil was coming to pick us up to head to her piano recital which was immediately following the awards ceremony.  I spotted her standing alone, so I waved her over.  She had a look on her face, and I knew right away that she was sad.  I asked her if she wanted to snap a few photos with some friends before we headed outside, and she shook her head no and said; "All of the Cannon kids are taking a photo."  I encouraged her to go get in the picture, because even though she didn't do all of her elementary years at Cannon; she did the majority.  Then she said, "They're all holding up their awards"; and I knew then why she was sad.  So we scooted on outside and walked a bit waiting for Neil.  My mind started racing....What can I do to help her "do better" next year, so she will get an award.  Then I looked at her freckled face and bright eyes and realized NOTHING, there is nothing I need to do.  The fact that she chose to be here knowing she wasn't receiving recognition but only to support her friends is about as good as it gets.  There's no "doing better", because she's done the best, truest, purest thing ever.  I have questioned the decision about homeschooling her for 4th and 5th grades, because I feel that she feels a little distant and isolated from her peers; but God always reminds me of how amazing those 2 years were and what we learned from each other.  He reminds me that she is His, and His plan for her is greater than mine.  "Doing better" is for His glory, not hers and especially not mine.  God uses her so well, and it is always so evident to me.  Elliot is truly a servant and most of the time servants go unnoticed, because oftentimes that's how it's supposed to be.  Doing God's work can be hard in different ways and staying true to your truth is one of the most difficult, but it's also one of the most important.