When you are plagued by depression, sometimes the sadness is so overwhelming that it seems you will never escape it. And if you do make your way out, you may still not feel happiness. In fact, indifference may be as good as it gets. Sometimes in the thick of sadness, you wonder if you've ever been happy at all. But then you remember that you have, it just seems like another lifetime and just out of your grasp.
Happiness is not something you can "choose" over sadness. It is oftentimes not obtainable, no matter how good things are going for you, how good your life is, or how much you are loved. It's not possible. If it were possible, it seems those suffering overwhelming sadness would certainly "choose to be happy", wouldn't they?
Telling someone to "choose to be grateful" or "choose to be happy" or "choose to look at the positives" is not encouraging and absolutely not helpful to a person who is not in the mindset to do so....it is in fact discouraging and hurtful. It can make them feel inadequate, unheard and stupid.
When you are supporting someone with depression or many other mental health illnesses, sometimes you just listen. You may not understand their suffering, but even if you do; you just listen. By listening, they know that you are not here to minimalize their pain, dismiss their sadness, or provide quick fixes for them; but you are here and they are heard.
After listening to a group of students, who are or have been, moderately and/or severely depressed; the above is what I gleaned from their conversations.
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