No More Babies!

All Spring we had been trying to figure out what to do upstairs. What I mean by that is we have 3 bedrooms, a bathroom, several huge closets, and a playroom up there. Four of our five children have bedrooms up there. Remember we live in a very old house and the upstairs is really our attic that NPayne has converted into all these usable spaces. It's really quite fabulous. The time has come for our sweet littlest, Elliot, to come out of her crib....yes I know she's 3 1/2, but she loves her crib. What NPayne and I have learned is the easiest way to transition a child from his/her crib to a "big kid bed" is to have them move in with someone....for some reason this helps with any anxiety he/she may have. So we were trying to decide where Elliot would fit upstairs. After much thought, we decided that Bryna could just move downstairs into Elliot's room....leaving Drew her own room....Addi still having her own room....and Cal still having his own room. Everyone was on board with this, so we began the switch the other night. NPayne moved the beds from Drew's and Bryna's room downstairs....because I wanted them to match :) .....and he moved the twin bed from Elliot's room up to Drew's room. The crib was in limbo, because although there was room for a crib and a twin; there was not room for a crib and two twins in the downstairs bedroom. NPayne.....frightened by the fact that Elliot may cry all night without her beloved crib....was very hesitant about moving it out. He originally planned to roll it into our living room just in case and then roll it back in....if she decided she needed it. I told him I thought we should just take it out and go cold turkey. I can't even believe I said this....because I knew that would mean NO MORE CRIB IN MY HOUSE....and that is heart wrenching for me. But I did. Turns out that the crib could not be simply rolled out, it wouldn't fit through the door; so it would have to be taken apart. Before that occured, we asked Elliot again...."Are you ready for a big girl bed? Are you ready for Bryna to sleep in here with you?" She happily nodded and said "YES!" Everytime I had tried to coerce her into sleeping in her twin bed, she would just point to her crib and say...."That's my bed!" I wouldn't argue and would put her happy little thumb sucking self into her crib. As we were getting ready to remove the crib for good....SIGH! Drew came in and said...."Elli, say goodbye to your crib. You're getting a big girl bed now!" Elli walked over to her crib and grasped the side rails. She held onto them tightly, pressing her cheek against them and said...."Bye bye crib. I will miss you. I hope to see you soon!" Well that was all she wrote, when Drew told me what Elliot said; I had to excuse myself and sob for 20 minutes. NPayne even said...."I'm ready for the crib to go, but that was sad!" I walked upstairs to see Drew's new solo room and all the cleaning she had done to prepare for being alone. When I walked in, the first thing I saw was Bryna's name on the wall where her bed use to be; and again the tears flowed. How can my babies be growing up so fast? How can it be that Drew is perfectly okay with sleeping in a room alone when she has always shared with someone? How can it be that I no longer have a baby in a crib, or diapers to change, or someone to rock? I know it's part of the life cycle....I get that....and I'm not by any means complaining that my kids are growing and thriving. I'm just heart broken at how fast it is going by. My firstborn is 13. My youngest is almost 4.....you have to admit that 4 sounds so much older than 3. Until recently I had been changing diapers for 13 years....now I'm not....honestly that I won't miss much, but it's a new season for this mama! I know having older children will be such a blessing to me as well....I just wish time would slow down a tad! Seeing my Drew so excited about having her own room that she can keep clean and tidy makes me happy, but it makes me sad thinking about her not being with Bryna....they have shared a room FOREVER! Having Elli in a big girl bed sleeping all night without a hitch makes me happy, but hearing about her telling it goodbye makes my heart break. I am not a parent who can't wait to be an empty nester. In fact, I would be happy if my kids all went to college close to home and lived at home while doing so. I have realized that I am going to have to embrace the years to come and cherish them as much as I have cherished the years past, and I will! I am so very blessed by these wonderful creatures that God has lent me. My goodness am I blessed?