I started my day Friday by reading to my kindergartner, Elliot's, class! She dug around on our bookshelf, where we have literally hundreds of books, until she found the perfect book. She was so excited to have me come in her room that morning and so were her classmates. They all sat up a little taller, wide eyes shining brightly, and big smiles on their faces. As their teacher introduced me, I looked at each face....trying to recall all of their names. I showed them the book and told them how we had hundreds of books, and this is the one Elliot wanted me to share with them; so it was really special. They were ready to listen. I read the story, and they all sat intently listening....not a peep. After I finished the book, I asked them a few questions about it; and they asked me a few. The whole time I could see my little girl's face, on the back row, grinning from ear to ear....she was so happy to have me there....they all were. It was awesome and made me miss teaching kindergarten. They thanked me for coming and were genuinely grateful. I gave my baby girl a big hug and kiss and walked out with a full and grateful heart. Shortly thereafter, the news came about Sandy Hook....and I kept picturing those sweet faces from that morning. How could he not see those faces at Sandy Hook the way I had seen those faces that morning....wide eyed, innocent, precious. I don't understand it...some say it's pure evil, some say it's mental health, some say it was a payback....but I still don't understand it. I've heard over and over and over through many losses and tragedies that we will understand it when we get to heaven, the answers will be there; but honestly....I don't think I will even ask the question. I think the glory of heaven will override any looming or questions or wondering that I may have here on earth. All day today, as I looked at each of those faces of the children who were killed....my heart hurt more deeply. Seeing their faces, looking in those eyes, seeing their tiny hands....it made it that much more real. I keep telling myself that they are angels, and they don't see it the way we do. They aren't scared or hurting, but they are in the arms of Our Savior...where everything is as it should be! The ones left behind are the ones who are hurting, but those angels.....they are perfect!
Someone shared this with me today.....something they read on Facebook.
Twas' 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38 when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven's gate. Their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air. They could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there. They were filled with such joy; they didn't know what to say. They remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day. “where are we?" asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse. “This is heaven" declared a small boy. "We’re spending Christmas at God's house”. When what to their wondering eyes did appear, but Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near. He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same. Then He opened His arms and He called them by name. And in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring those children all flew into the arms of their King and as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace, one small girl turned and looked at Jesus' face. And as if He could read all the questions she had He gently whispered to her, "I'll take care of mom and dad. “then He looked down on earth, the world far below He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe, then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand, “Let My power and presence re-enter this land! “May this country be delivered from the hands of fools” “I’m taking back my nation. I'm taking back my schools! “Then He and the children stood up without a sound. “Come now my children let me show you around. “Excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran. All displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can. And I heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight, “in the midst of this darkness,” I AM STILL THE LIGHT."
The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. - John 1:5
I started journaling several years ago when I realized that I couldn't possibly remember every milestone, cute phrase, wonderful expression, heart tugging word or life changing action that occurs within my own family. I had to face the fact that my brain has become fuller and fuller with each baby born and each day that passes; and now it's overloaded. I find myself having to write down everything from a daily "To Do" list to much more important things like the first time my son kissed me on the lips. I don't want to take anything for granted and chance that I might not remember. I journal in a notebook, in my own handwriting, with the intent and hope that someday my sweet buttercups will cherish having these journals in their mama's own handwriting. I started this blog, because there are some things that are meant to be shared and some things that I hope someone will read and enjoy. Maybe I can learn something from a reader or two as well.
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I am happy to say....
Jesus is my first love!
My children are beautiful, inside and out!
I'm as happy as I've ever been!
NPayne thinks I'm beautiful!
I LOVE vintage!
I live in America!
I let my children get dirty!
I thoroughly enjoy Bible Study!
I'm addicted to linens!
I enjoy watching football on TV!
I live in a house full of imagination!
I pray for world peace!
I support our troops and pray for them daily!
I am VERY sentimental!
My parents were married for 40 years!
I love thrift stores and flea markets!
My favorite room in my house is the nursery!
There are 4 princesses and one prince in my house which makes me a Queen!
I buy organic and eat organic!
We pray together!
I'm a free spirit with an old soul!
My house is covered in photographs of my family!
Four of my five children can make their own breakfast!
I LOVE Saturday Night Disco at our house!
I am shabby chic....maybe a little more shabby than chic!
My children love each other very much!
I wanted a huge family, at least 7 children!
I love making something old into something beautiful!
My wedding ring is an emerald!
I still have a baby in my house!
I have my mother's every day dishes!
I have my mother in law's china!
I try extremely hard not to be judgemental!
My house is 100 years old!
My bed is one of my favorite places to be!
Music often moves me to tears!
I am very easily amused!
I read The Bible!
NPayne and I have a date each week!
I love being a mother with every ounce of my being!
All my babies were delivered by the same doctor!
I have date days with each of my children!
I absolutely loved being pregnant!
I will have eternal life!
I drink a lot of coffee!
I'm a teacher!
I love my church!
I am creative!
I recycle A LOT!
This is my natural hair color (sort of).
I bake with my children every week!
I'm very low maintenance!
I love my girlfriends!
I have good, I mean really good, children!
I'm a believer!
Our family has lots of traditions!
I adore my husband!
My children think I'm the best mom in the whole world!
Add to the madness!!!
Even though we ain't got money....
I'm so in love with you honey!
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