HOPE SPOKEN

Out of the blue about 3 weeks ago, I heard about this conference that was in my area.  I didn't even have to read about it when I saw who the speakers were going to be, I knew I MUST GO!  Of course the tickets were sold out and had been for a long time, but still....I contacted the people in charge, put my request on social media and inquired.  NO LUCK! :(  About a week later, I received a message that a ticket had become available.  I said YES and purchased it right away.  This past weekend was Hope Spoken, and it was more amazing than I thought.  I drove the 30 mile jaunt back and forth for 3 days, all alone.  Each day, I was more blessed than the one before.  I met the most amazing women and heard the most amazing testimonies....some were really intense, and some were not; but all of them touched my life.  NPayne asked me the first day....so you're going to this alone?  I said, yes...and I think it will be good for me to go alone; and it was sooooo good.   I have been struggling for a while with contentment, and I have been asking Jesus to help me figure out a way to find it again.  I feel like a person walking around in someone else's body, because I haven't felt like I am where I am suppose to be.  As a young adult...I had flowery dreams of living in the country, driving an old pick-up truck, farming my land, with a bunch of kids around me, living the simple life.  The husband....well I didn't really want one of those.  How I was going to get the kids was a detail I would figure out later. ;)  God had other plans for me, and I happened to meet the most amazing man and let him sweep me off my feet....kicking and screaming a little at first....but soon I was completely his.  I don't live in the country, but right in the middle of the city....a very busy city.  I don't drive an old pick-up truck, but my suburban is almost 14 years old.  I don't farm my own land, but we do have 7 hens and are planning a garden soon.  I do, however, have a bunch of kids....at least to some people 5 is a bunch....AND I figured out how to get those kids! ;)  I still long for a simpler way of life, and it isn't what I dreamed it would be; but it is better.  God, I'm sorry I fight you so hard....your ways are best!