Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Joy Prouty, Photography, Inspiration, Contentment/Discontentment

Contentment is the acknowledgement and satisfaction of reaching capacity. The level of capacity reached may be sought after, expected, desired, or simply predetermined as the level in which provides contentment. Contentment may be considered as synonymous with happiness but is more basic or prior to happiness that can be derived from outer achievement or self-improvement.
For this reason, colloquially, contentment is simply a way of accepting one's life state and being grateful or happy with it. Many see contentment as an attitude towards situations. It may even be argued that this attitude of contentment leads to more positive outcomes as a result of the relaxation that goes with being contented.
I haven't been content, really content, in a couple of years and not just with my work, but with my life. I use to scour the internet looking at photographers' and artists' blogs for inspiration and guidance. At first, I was very inspired. After a while, I found that I was comparing myself to many and became more insecure than ever. I stopped reading blogs a few years ago. When I watched Joy on the Click live stream, I became intrigued again. I had read her blog in the past, but stopped when I stopped reading all blogs. Honestly I had no idea what Click was, but a friend of mine was there and kept posting stuff about it on FB. When I heard Joy was speaking, I decided to watch it. After that, I started reading her blog again. I knew I had to eventually meet her.  I recently spent 3 days with her, and I came home feeling like I was on the right path with my inner struggle....learning about photography was a bonus for me. I went to Austin to learn about hopes that it would help me learn about me. My life is good...I have the most amazing man in my life. He is the foundation for my family, and he is my rock. He holds us together. My kids are amazing, creative people who inspire me daily. We are settled in our community. I have great girlfriends who support me and encourage me, and I am strong in my faith. We have made a wonderful life, but still contentment is lacking. I am always restless. It's definitely a struggle inside of me and not based on anyone else. I'm not sure what my path will hold as far as photography goes, but I know I will always take pictures. 
I don't feel understood or valued, and that is a struggle inside of me; but it is real and awful.  I can't stand injustice, and I see it daily in my own neighborhood; and it is real and awful.  I'm not sure where to go or what to do to settle my soul down, but I have to do something; so I'll keep praying.  Contentment....where are you?  Discontentment....go away!

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