I Cry When I'm Alone....

Sometimes when I'm alone, which is very rare, I cry.  My mind has time to clear and reflect and think deep which is who I am....a deep thinker.  I think about the things I've been given and what I'm doing with them.  Am I using them to glorify our God?  Am I making the best decisions?  Am I being obedient?  Am I?  I think about the people in my life and pray that they see Jesus through me.  And I think about the times that I have messed up and the times that I know they haven't seen Jesus, and I cry.  And then I think about the times I have asked them to forgive me, taken responsibility and given them unconditional love; and I cry again.  Talking the talk is easier than it seems to me, but walking the walk....that's where it gets tricky.  In today's world, I feel like I am oftentimes looked at as the "bad" guy; because I believe in The Bible and want to live by it as best as I can.  I feel like, although I'm very open minded, I'm also condemned for being somewhat conservative in some of my views.  I know my children often think I'm too hard on them, and I may be harder than many parents; but I'm not too hard.  I believe in respect, obedience, earning trust and natural consequences.  I believe that I should know the people they spend time with, and if I'm not given the opportunity to get to know them; then they don't get to spend much time with them.  I believe that many, not all, but many parents have very different views on what's appropriate and what's not than I do.  We are not all the same:  we don't think the same, act the same, live the same; and that's okay.  My choices and beliefs are not better than anyone elses', they may just be different.  However even through ridicule, arguments, conflict; I stand behind what I believe to be the best thing for me, my family and other people giving God the glory.  And then I cry when it gets hard and sometimes I cry when it's not hard.  That's just how I roll.