Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Mama and Daddy

I sit and watch and listen....it's not the first time, and it won't be the last.  My heart smiles through the hole that is there.  Watching children with their grandparents...it's so bittersweet.  I miss my parents so, and I miss watching them with my children.  I miss watching my sweet mother-in-law with my children.  I read love notes and endearing words, on social media, written by my friends for their mamas and daddies; and I hope they know....how fortunate they are to still have them here.  Open houses, performances, grandparents' days....those are hard, and they will always be hard for my kids.  It hurts my heart for them and for me, but mostly for them.  Sometimes I just need my mama and daddy.  A few weeks ago, I was listening to someone speak about being an orphan.  That word resonates with me so strong, because I am one....both of my parents have passed on.  I don't remember a lot about what the speaker said, except this:  If you're an orphan, remember this:  You have a heavenly father who is with you always.  He is right here anytime you need Him.  That provided me with the greatest comfort I've had, since my mother died almost 2 years ago.  Although I've known that and believed that in my head, I have not felt that in my heart until I heard those words....then there was a connection between the two.  It hasn't been easy, not at all, and grief has a big hold on me.  I expect it always will to some extent, but it also reminds me of how much love there was between me and my parents and my husband's mama.  My heart still hurts when I see sweet reminders, but sometimes it hurts in a good way.  I just pray that those who still have their mamas and daddies and grandparents for their kids know just how fortunate they are.

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