Thursday, May 5, 2016

Two Years.....

Two years....sometimes it seems like longer and sometimes it seems like yesterday.  I can still remember every single moment of that day, every single one.  It's almost like I knew it was the last. One thing I know for sure is this....if I didn't have faith and hope, I would have lost myself in the last 2 years....drown in a sea of hopelessness.  It didn't make losing you easier, but it made me realize even more that I didn't really lose you.....I know where you are.  I will see you and daddy again.  Knowing where you are, and that you're together brings a smile to my face....every single time I think about it.  Sometimes something will happen, and it will feel like the scab has been torn off again or I've been punched in the stomach; but then I think about you dancing, walking, whole and healed.  Selfishly I wish you were both here, experiencing life with us, with your grandkids; but I know where you are is far better.  Sometimes I wonder if you cry or are sad when you see us struggle, and then I think about Jesus comforting you like nobody else ever could.  I don't know....are there tears in heaven?  
He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” 
Revelation 21:4

Being with you when you breathed your last was one of the hardest things I've ever experienced, but I'm so thankful I was there with you when you did.  I miss you mama!

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