Waiting Is Hard

So many things have changed just in the last few days, and my head is reeling in it.  Some positive....some negative....some indifferent.  Change is hard for me, almost always, but I know that it  oftentimes has to happen.  It doesn't mean I like it.  A few years ago, I felt a very strong calling for us to move.  We didn't.  I was the only one who felt that calling or maybe who listened to it.  Either way, I can't move by myself.  As things have occurred over the last few years, it has been evident to me that we should have obeyed.  Feeling ungrounded and like you don't belong somewhere is an extremely difficult feeling to navigate.  I have wonderful people in my life right here, but that doesn't mean that God wants me/us here.  Oftentimes, most of the time, He calls us to the uncomfortable or difficult.  It would have been an adjustment for us all, but I still think it is what we were/are suppose to do.  In a way, I feel like I've disappointed God for not obeying.  I've read a lot about obeying a calling.  Does God call you to something and not call your people? I kinda think He might, and part of the calling is for me to convince them to obey.  Obviously, I didn't do so good on that part; because here we are.  Then I wondered if it was really a calling from God or just my own strong will, but so many things have indicated that it was and still is a calling from God.  Does God want you to obey even if it means disappointing your family or leaving them behind?  I just can't grasp that He does.  I've read a lot about this over the last few years.  There are many things, in The Bible, to support leaving everything behind including your family; but there are many that don't.  I started praying that God would put Neil and I on the same path, in this calling, but so far He hasn't.  This makes me wonder even more if it's my will, Neil's will or God's. Our lives are good, our family is good, our friends are good, most everything is good; but there are things that are a direct result in our disobedience to follow.  So for now, I will still wait and pray for God to put us on the same path.  It's truly one of the most difficult things for me to do....WAIT....especially when I KNOW deep in my heart that we don't belong here.  We are called to something much greater, much simpler, to bring us much closer to each other and to Jesus!