Thursday, October 6, 2011

Control Freak

I'm a control freak....who else is a control freak? You can tell me. I won't tell anyone. I've noticed that my blog has been all about me these last few posts, so does that mean I am becoming a self absorbed control freak? I'm a self admitted control freak but a self absorbed control freak? Naaaaa ;) . Honestly I find being a control freak a little odd, because really I'm very laid back. But I have noticed that when things seem a little out of control for me, I really NEED to control the out of controlness (I know that's not a word....I'm just using it for effect). Things have been out of control for me since August, and instead of becoming more and more frustrated....I'm becoming more and more exhausted! I feel like I would like to cry, and I don't know why....of course you have to take in account that I am also a self admitted cry baby. I think what it boils down to is this.....
I'm easily overwhelmed by busyness, and I am definitely busy.
I feel like my days are flying by...which can be good....but for me, it's sad.
My oldest started high school, and I NEVER see her.
My baby is having a hard time adjusting to the new schedule....she is also easily overwhelmed by busyness.
Some sad things have happened in the last several months.
My oldest started high school, and I NEVER see NPayne on the weekends anymore....he's either helping with band stuff or watching football.
My boy is having some challenges at school, although he did learn to tie his shoes....I'm cheering loudly right now!
My Pastor died.
My other Pastor has breast cancer.
I rarely see any of my friends....unless it's at work....and then we are working.'s that time of the year....that time when I feel melancholy....that time when 6 years ago, my Mamaw died....and just a day later my Daddy died. I think what it boils down to is this:
I'm not taking enough time to rest in the Lord....I'm not taking enough time to read His Word. I need to take some time! I don't feel His Presence as present when I don't take the time to rest in Him. Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him! Psalm 37:7....that's what I need to do!

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