Will You Forgive Me?

Last night, I lost my cool with my babiest of babies.  She cried in the kitchen, and I was so frustrated with myself.  I let her be for a bit, and then I sought her out.  I cupped my hands around her face, looked her in the eyes and said, "I'm sorry.  Can you forgive me?"  Her eyes were still wet from tears, but you know what she did?  She said, "Yes I forgive you."  Then I kissed her cheeks!!

I don't do well with chaos, exhaustion or busyness....I get overwhelmed by each of these things individually, and the last few weeks; it's been all of them together.  That's not any excuse to lose my cool with anyone, but I did anyway.  

Years ago, I realized that sometimes saying "I'm sorry" isn't enough.  Sometimes it is, but sometimes it needs to be more.  We have this thing in our house that if someone unintentionally did something to hurt another in any way, "I'm sorry" would work....stepping on your foot, knocking over your drink, borrowing something without asking.  But sometimes it needed to be more.  If someone hurt someone in an intentional way....saying something with the intent of hurting feelings, deliberately disobeying, leaving someone out, then there would be time taken to think about what had happened....and eventually...when genuinely regretful and ready to take responsibility; they would look the other in the eyes and ask, "Will you forgive me?"  I cannot tell you what a difference this has made in our household and in our relationships.  Thinking about the situation, the feelings involved and the intentional asking for forgiveness has made us all much gentler with each other.  It has made us all realize that we make mistakes in relationships....sometimes intentionally but most of the time not....but forgiveness is key in working through the mistakes and then letting them go.  We put our self in the shoes of the one who was hurt, and that stirs up all the regret and remorse.  I cannot remember a time when any one of my children or husband have not forgiven me or each other.  I cannot remember a time when I have not forgiven one of them either.  This has helped me be more intentional with how I speak and act.  It doesn't mean I won't lose my cool from time to time, but it does mean I know that I can be forgiven.  "Forgiveness is the oil in relationships".  I don't know who said that, but I think it's so very true....it's what lubricates them and keeps them moving forward instead of backward.  If you're in a situation where you need to be forgiven, look someone in the eyes and genuinely ask them.