A BABY

Last night I dreamt I was expecting twins....I didn't actually dream it....I fantasized about it as I lay awake trying to sleep. I was picturing which room they would occupy in our house and how so very excited, loving, and helpful my other children would be with their new siblings. And although I'm 44 and rarely without pain from arthritis, I would give my right arm...not really but you know what I mean....to be pregnant! I love being pregnant!

Late tonight I got a message from one of my dear sweet friends telling me that she is pregnant. Twins??? Don't know....she is barely pregnant! I was so overjoyed and excited for her that I couldn't stop smiling and actually shed a little tear when I thought about her having another chance to have a baby in her house. She told me that she and her husband had been on the fence about having anymore children, but ultimately their hearts won out. They decided that they would never regret having another child, but they may regret not having another! I told her I knew exactly what she was talking about!

I can't wait to take newborn pictures!

I Am Blessed!

Today is my 44th birthday....I love birthdays and am so grateful to have another year to celebrate!

I treasure so much....

my children

my husband

my mom

my in-laws

me extended family

my friends

my church

my health

My Jesus!

loving

laughing

hugging

holding hands

kissing boo-boos

kissing tiny toes

reading books

reading The Bible

prayers

cuddling

saying "I Love You!"

hearing "I Love You!"

family time

dinners at our big farmhouse table

using Granny's salad bowl at our meals

walks around the neighborhood

spending time at the lake with our friends

singing bedtime songs

giggling

snuggling in my comfy bed

old things

hot cups of coffee

very hot baths

freckles

smiling faces

talents of all kinds

and many many many more!

It's been a good year! I am so blessed!

Happy Birthday, Merry Christmas, Jesus Is The Reason!

The thing I love most about Christmas is that we are celebrating the birth of Our Savior. One thing I enjoy most, during the season, is baking a birthday cake for Jesus on Christmas Eve and leaving a piece for Santa. Birthdays are a big deal in The Payne house….not as in getting a lot of gifts….but as in celebrating another year of life together. I love birthdays! This past year, I have many things to celebrate….many bright spots….here a few:

The absolute joy and blessing that my five children bring me each day….even when they are grumpy!

Addi holding a fundraiser, in honor of her brother, and raising over $2500 for Autism Speaks…..thank you for supporting her efforts.

Cal loving middle school, trying all sorts of new foods, wearing a jacket and his awesome teacher Ms. Tandy.

Drew continuing to try to save the planet and every animal on it.

Bryna dancing and singing her way through life….always with a joyful heart.

Elliot always telling me, “Mommy, You’re Fabliless (fabulous)!” and “I love you so in my heart!”

Enjoying a wonderful beach vacation and visit to our extended family in Louisiana.

Going to Game 3 of The World Series with Neil….YES THE RANGERS WON THAT ONE! Thanks Melinda and Matt for the tickets!

Play dates with our friends!

Picking blackberries at the blackberry farm!

Seeing my friend, Lisa, walk into church on July 4^th holding their new foster baby girl…Maggie!

My mother moving right down the street in a few weeks!

Girl Scouts!

The surprise anniversary party that Addi threw for Neil and I….18 years!

Addi’s freckles.

A wonderful job at a wonderful preschool with the best co-workers and boss ever!

Staring at Elliot when she is really enjoying something.

Taking up an entire pew as we all 7 sit together in church on Sunday mornings.

The gift of being able to photograph so many wonderful people!

Spending a few days of Spring Break in Athens with 2 of my lifelong friends and families.

Addi being honored with “The Kindness” award in her school’s awards assembly.

Being healthy enough to start a running program and run 4 miles by the time I finished it!

Watching Bryna dance in the aisles during praise and worship.

The love, support and companionship of the greatest husband in the world.

Cal’s soulful eyes.

Drew being nominated to her school’s Hall of Fame just for being her sweet little self.

Cal’s 5^th grade awards assembly and the special tribute that was made in his honor (even though I sobbed through the whole thing and cry now as I type this…it was a definite bright spot).

Singing my children songs at night.

Elliot making me laugh every single day with things she does and says!

Listening to Drew teach Bryna how to play the piano.

Eating dinner together nearly every night of the week and sharing our Roses and Thorns.

Listening to Cal sing in his room when he doesn’t know I’m listening.

Sleeping late.

Listening to my girls sing in the church choir.

Our neighbors!

My church family!

Bryna’s toothless smile.

Little hands and little feet.

Bryna winning the music award in kindergarten.

Elliot in her first dance recital….Dec. 18^th!

Cal getting the gold medal in bowling at the Special Olympics.

My friend, Angie, bringing me a Starbucks every Thursday morning.

Holding hands.

Drew’s compassionate “old” soul.

Date nights!

The snow hill at Six Flags!

SUMMER!

Watching Bryna dance….she’s amazing!

Watching Cal do the softball throw at the special olympics….he’s strong!

.Listening to Addi play xylophone and drums….she’s fantastic.

Watching Drew play soccer….she’s determined.

Listening to Elliot say the blessing at our meals….it’s priceless.

Having the best girlfriends anyone could ask for.

Having all of our needs met.

Addi and Neil going on mission trips together and helping so many who need it.

Watching my girls grow in their faith and love Jesus.

Giving back to our neighbors….near and far.

Neil being quite handy around the house!

Our “adopted” African orphans….Purity and Nanis.

My 13 year old who still enjoys spending time with her family.

My 9 year old who loves for me to tuck her in and insists on taking a family picture with her to sleepovers, so she won’t miss us too much.

My 7 year old who still sits in my lap and loves it.

My 4 year old who would rather spend the day playing with me than anything else….except maybe playing with her daddy.

My son, my sweet boy, who recently looked me in the eye and said “I love you Mom!” for the first time in his life (without being prompted)!

Jesus Christ working in my life!

Happy Birthday To The Light Of The World!

Go out and celebrate….all year long!

Lorie and The Payne Family!

MOO

It's official....my mama is moving right down the street in a few short months. She has been on the wait list for govt. funded housing for 18 months and finally got a place. Actually 18 months isn't very long to wait from what I understand. The Payne household is so excited to have Moo, that's what we call her, walking distance from us. There will be some challenges along the way....since she is disabled and in a wheelchair....but I am confident we will overcome those, and she will be just as happy about the move as we are. Not only will we be able to drop by much more often, but she will be able to go to church with us (the house is right next door to our church), come over to our house more often, not to mention she will be saving a lot of money in rent. Her rent is based on a percentage of what her monthly income is, so it's quite reasonable. Plus since she does not have health insurance and pays part of her medicaid, she gets some sort of discount or kick back from that as well. I'm very proud of my mom and how well she's been able to manage living alone, since my dad passed 5 years ago. She still requires assistance, but overall....her hard headedness and determination has helped her to remain independent for the most part. This is going to be good!

My Best Friend!

This is my beautiful best friend and her handsome brood of boys! To see more, click here!

WORRY

I'm a worrier by nature....I worry....it's what I do or did! I have discovered that I'm what I've classified as a "Future Worrier" which means I think about something that is going to happen and then I worry about it. It could be something that's going to happen soon (like taking Elli to the dentist to get a cavity filled) or something that's going to happen a long long long time from now (like who my children are going to marry). Nonetheless....I use to "Future Worry" all the time. When Cal was in 4th grade, I found myself in an inner turmoil about him going to middle school....2 years away! One day, I was reading my devotion; and I came across the scripture "FEAR NOT, FOR I AM WITH YOU!" Isaiah 41:10. From that moment on, when I start to feel myself worrying....I will say that out loud to myself, take a deep breath, and consciously put it out of my mind. The other night, I lye awake and right before I dozed off...the "FUTURE WORRYING" started. I was nearly paralyzed with fear....about....my Addi going to high school next year! And that's not all....I became so deeply saddened by the thought of her going to a different high school than so many of her really good friends....that I choked back tears. I can't believe my child will be in high school...."FEAR NOT, FOR I AM WITH YOU!" For now, I'm going to shove that fear out of my mind and be grateful that my child is healthy, smart, and thriving enough to go to high school! I WILL NOT BE AFRAID! I WILL NOT WORRY!

All I Want For Christmas Is.....

I can't believe Christmas is 8 days away....not because I'm not prepared...I have actually gotten everything bought and wrapped....but because TIME IS FLYING BY! For Christmas, I want a pause button....I just want to pause life for the next two weeks and make them last a lot longer.

SHOPPING IS HARD WORK!

Christmas shopping is harder work than about any job I have. Shopping for my 5 children and getting them something practical, that they will love, that's not too much money, that's not over the top.....is hard work. We don't buy our children lots of stuff....they usually each get one gift from us....a gift from SC...and something in their stocking. This year, they are getting a very boring practical gift from NPayne and me; so we have opted to get them a group gift as well....and NO, it's not a trampoline! Honestly.....I think they will really love the group gift and even like their boring practical gift as well.

FOCUS....FOCUS!

A few more gifts to wrap....

A few more celebrations to attend....

A few more days of school....

A few more cards to address....

A few more things to catch up on....

A few more photos to edit....

And then....

I can sit down and breathe!

I'm busy but focused....focused on the true meaning of Christmas! JESUS!

What I Regret Doing As A Mother....Take One!

I really regret taking Callahan's pacifier away from him so early. I know this may seem like a random thing to be harping on....since he's 11 and all, but....I have been in a few different discussions about my children and what they used to calm themselves or get themselves to sleep as babies. In each discussion, I was asked if any of my children used a paci; so I was "forced" to talk about it. It bothered me a little when we ripped the paci weaned him off of the paci, but the last few times I've talked about it; it brought me to tears. Callahan was 15 months old, and he was going to be at "school" where I worked every day. He had his paci in his mouth 24/7.....he never was without it. I had the bright idea that I should just break him of the paci cold turkey, so I did. We did the whole cutting the tip off deal, and let me just say that my baby cried himself to sleep for a week; and it was horrible. It was only a week, but it seemed like one of the longest weeks of my life. Cal had not been diagnosed with anything at 15 months, and honestly if he had; I probably would not have taken his paci. Because little did I know, but he really NEEDED it. I mean he really needed it. He has such heightened senses and struggles with many sensory issues....which have gotten much better over the years....but when he was little, it shaped most of what he would wear and eat. After the week of crying without his paci, he learned to soothe himself by sucking really hard on his tongue. It wasn't until years later, after he was diagnosed and he was much older, when I watched him sucking his tongue as he fell asleep that I broke down and sobbed. I felt so badly for taking away that need, and obviously I still do. Some day....if he ever understands what I'm talking about....I will tell him again how sorry I am that I took away his paci too early.

TWINS!!!

For more twin photos, click here!

LOST

Sometimes I get lost in her. I have gotten lost in all of my children and still do, but I find myself really lost in her. With each child born, I have learned that I need to relish in every moment I can; because.....before you know it.....they are grown up. With growing up comes.....less time to get lost in them, so I get lost in her often. I find myself staring at her as she colors, sleeps in her carseat, eats her lunch, sings to herself, sucks her thumb and rubs her Pinky Pie's ear on her cheek. I stare at her face, and I get lost; and I LOVE it!