Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Live Like You're Dying!

I have that song..."Live Like You're Dying" by Chris Allen....last year's American Idol winner....just in case that makes a difference....stuck in my head! I have been singing that chorus for weeks. Anyhoo....not only does that song have quite the catchy tune, but it also has a great message! My daughter, Bryna, LOVES LOVES LOVES music....actually my whole family loves music; but she's got a constant song in her head. She sings EVERYTHING, so anytime we hear a catchy tune....she immediately "tunes" in and starts singing....whether she knows the words or not. So every time "Live Like You're Dying" comes on, she asks me to turn it up. The other day as we were singing the chorus very loudly....because I don't know all the rapping part of that song....she stopped singing and asked, "Mama what does this song mean? What does live like you're dying mean?" As I started to explain to her my interpretation of that song, I really started thinking....I need to apply that to my life EVERY SINGLE DAY! I also started thinking how hard that would be for me to do, because lots of folks....often take my life, my days, my family, everything for granted. Having a special needs child has really helped me appreciate the little things and not take little things for granted, watching my dad die has made me realize how our life can change and end so quickly, standing by my friend who has lost 2 babies during childbirth and nearly her own life has made me so grateful for the life I have to live; BUT.....I still find myself taking things for granted, easily irritated by little things, focusing on the negative sometimes more than the positive. I do try, try, try, try not to do that; but sometimes I do. I want to live my life like I was dying....I don't actually want to be dying....but I want to appreciate every moment of every day! One of NPayne's very close friends was diagnosed with cancer at a very young age....his parents had both already passed from cancer, and he didn't have any other his buddies were his family. He was not a believer. Chris, NPayne's friend, lived with us for a while and lived like he was dying....even before he was. He was happy, fun loving, daring, and full of life. When he was diagnosed with cancer, he was given a short time to live. Chris took his inheritance, which was significant, and did everything that he had always dreamed of doing in his lifetime. He blew through his money in just about the time that he was suppose to die, but he ended up living for several more years. He had accomplished his goals, his desires, and now he could die a happy man....right? As the years passed, he became very very ill. When the time came for him to die, NPayne and all of their buddies were there by his bedside. NPayne, along with other friends and a very devoted hospice nurse, spoke to Chris about Jesus and His love for Chris. One of NPayne's friends had his 5 month old daughter in the room, and as Chris accepted Christ in his life....that baby girl started pointing and staring at the ceiling....she was giggling all the while. Her daddy said he believed she could see angels! Everytime I visualize that moment, I think about how happy Jesus was to have Chris coming to join Him; and I think about Chris's mom. The last few weeks of his life....all I could think about was her, looking down from heaven, watching her 34 year old baby suffer and die a very painful slow death. All I could think about was how she had once rocked him, had big dreams for him, how she wanted him to get married, how she wanted to watch him become a father and make her a grandmother, how she died when he was a young boy, how she longed for him, and how she wanted him to accept the gift of salvation offered to him. When NPayne got home, from the hospice center, the night that Chris died and told me that he had accepted Christ; I cried myself to sleep. Part of it was because I was so sad that he had died....this sweet, fun loving, vibrant, young man. But the other part was because as a mother, I just felt such relief that I thought his mother....who was looking down from heaven....was feeling. Obviously I don't know what heaven is like and if people really look down on us or even know us when we get there, but I like to imagine they do. When I think about Chris's mom seeing her son join her in heaven; I think that is the feeling you get if you live your life like you're dying!

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