Thursday, May 6, 2010

My Confused State Of Mind

It's approaching the time of year where my heart and mind become very confused. As the end of the school year draws closer, I find myself so very excited to have my children home....I can hardly stand it....sleeping in, eating lunch together, lazy days by the pool, cooking out with friends, and on and on and on!! We are pretty low maintenance in the summer which is EXACTLY HOW I LIKE IT! We do some organized and fun things but mostly I like to hang out and be together. So why am I confused you might sounds like I am very excited about summer. This is true....I am, BUT....I also start to feel a little melancholy about my kids leaving their school and teachers. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my children's elementary school and their teachers.....I LOVE them. So now you see where the confusion comes in.....I LOVE summer (not the heat in Texas part) and having my children home with me and spending lots of time with family and friends. But I am also sad to see this chapter in their lives closing....not because I don't want them to succeed in school and move forward....but because it seems like just yesterday it was the first day of school, and I was sending them off to embark on a new year full of wonderful experiences and relationships. This year I am especially melancholy as my sweet son leaves his treasured and so deeply loved elementary school....that he's been at since he was 3....and moves on to the middle school. He will have a wonderful special ed. teacher there next year, but the thought of the last day of school this year and saying goodbye to all of those people who know him, have loved him, encouraged him and watched him's almost more than I can bare! I mean REALLY it is! I can't even type it, much less say it, without tears. I have to admit that although I know his teacher for next year and think she's simply grand, I have not had the best experiences with middle school; since my Addi has been there. Now don't get me wrong....there are some really wonderful teachers, parents and leaders there; but there are also some that are....well....NOT! So now do you see why my heart and mind are confused this time of year.....maybe more so this year than any other since I've had children in school. I am happy that my Elliot is still 3, and I have a few years left to before I include her in the mix of melancholiness (is that a word?) as far as school and summer go. I'm going to end this post with the following statement...."Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery, Today is a gift....that's why it's called the present"! I'm going to focus on the today and the now....or at least I'm going to try to, because before I can turn around I'll be sending them off to their first day of school again! :( :)

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