Monday, March 7, 2011

Realizations Through Grief

Some things I have learned while grieving....some of these things I have experienced before and some are new:
1. Make-up is useless. It gets in your eyes, when you cry at the most random times, and it burns like crazy.
2. All the little things I use to worry about are not that important.
3. Ken Diehm was the best teacher I've ever had. He was the spiritual father I had always longed for.
4. There's something to be said for doing little tasks around the house.
5. Crying in church is normal for me, so it doesn't really bother my kids at all to see my crying in church.
6. My heart is healing, but there will always be a hole there.
7. God is good all the time.....He is good!
8. Our pastor,Cindy Ryan, is the bomb....I already knew that though.
9. My church is about 100 times more awesome than I thought it was, and I thought it was pretty awesome.
10. Seeing other people grieve as much as I have is heartbreaking but least I know I'm not losing my mind.
11. I'm grieving confidently.
12. My kids made me laugh when I thought I couldn't. Genuine laughter is so healing. I felt sadness lift from my shoulders the first time I laughed.
13. My help comes from the Lord maker of heaven and earth. Psalm 121.
14. I have seen many "God Moments" in all of this.
15. Church has been the easiest and hardest place to go to, and I can't get there fast enough.
16. Ken helped our church grow and become outward focused mission based church....we have work to do, and we will continue.
17. NPAYNE ROCKS! He filled the gaps while I was falling apart....even though his heart is broken too.
18. If I feel like inviting someone over for dinner, I won't wait until our kitchen is remodeled or our bathroom floor is replaced. I will invite them knowing that they probably won't even notice our missing wallpaper and uneven floor but be happy to sit down and fellowship with us.
19. I have been drawn closer to people I already admired.
20. GOD DOESN'T CHANGE. The GOOD NEWS doesn't change!

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