Monday, September 26, 2011

Everything Will Be Okay

My favorite female pastor, Cindy, has breast cancer. Cindy has been my shepherd for the past 14 1/2 years, and I adore her. Everyone adores her. I don't even think she knows how much I adore her, and if she did; she might think I was a stalker ;) .....even though I don't actually follow her around or anything demented like that. Simply said.....I love Cindy. She was diagnosed with Stage 1 breast cancer at the end of August and had a lumpectomy last week. She had a lymph node removed as well and so far everything looks clear, and it looks like nothing has spread. She will be starting radiation fairly soon and possibly another type of treatment. Why, you may ask, am I telling you all of this? Honestly I don't know. I just felt the need to write it say it out put it in a permanent let you know that.....I believe 100% that she is going to be fine. Honestly I didn't really even feel anxious when I first found out....I have a peace about this whole situation, and I feel that she is going to be fine. Pastor John's sermon yesterday was about God's blueprint or plan for your life. I couldn't help but think of so many things from this past year and how I viewed God's hand in those events. It's sort of a weird thing for me, because as much as I am a planner.....I am not really detailed oriented. As much as I am a worrier.....I don't really sweat over God's plan for my life or His calling for me. I had a meeting with Pastor Ken, my beloved pastor who died in February, about 5 years ago. I remember one Sunday in church, he openly invited anyone who would like to meet with him about anything to come in and meet with him; so I did. My dad had died a year or so before, and I was trying to figure out how to handle many different things that were going on in my being Why do I have things so easy when there are so many people in the world who don't? I've written about this before and how I struggled with the guilt I felt over that. It was in that meeting that Ken gave me the following advice....transfer the guilt you feel into giving back to those who are not as fortunate as you! It was also in that meeting where Ken told me many personal things about himself, and when I knew that he was a very special person with a wonderful connection to Our Lord. I use to worry a little about not worrying about God's plan for my life. I use to think I was not very smart, because I didn't pay attention to so many details. And then I realized....after my meeting with Ken....that that's just who I am. It's not bad that I don't fret over things, and it's not bad that I don't pay attention to many details. The main plan God has for me is to be in relationship with HIM in every circumstance....those are Ken's words not mine.....and if I hang on to that and whisper the name of JESUS when I feel wrestless, confused, lost, or anxious....everything will be okay. That's how I felt about Cindy's diagnosis....I whispered the name of Jesus....and I felt like everything would be okay.

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