May 28th, The Best Day of 1999!

Thirteen years ago today, Callahan Leigh Payne entered our lives and our hearts.  Cal changed our lives in ways we never dreamed he would.  Cal was a big, beautiful, baby boy who I referred to as my "Chunk of Love."  He was almost 10 pounds at birth and always the smiley, lovey dovey baby boy!  When Cal was about 2, we noticed some things that concerned us a little.  By the time he was 3 1/2, we noticed some things that concerned us a little more.  By the time he was 4, he had been diagnosed with Fragile X and Autism.   Little did we know how challenging this would be but little did we know how blessed we would be!  Cal has won the hearts of anyone who has ever spent anytime with him...whether it be 30 minutes or 30 hours.  When people take the time to listen to him, watch him, interact with him; they fall in love with him!  He's endearing and sweet and yes he can be annoying, but mostly he's amazing.  Cal has taught so many people valuable things about life.....especially me.  He has taught us that we should never judge a book by its cover, or never judge period....you never know what challenges people are facing.  He has taught us to embrace the little things....that you should never take anything for granted.  He has taught us that a simple life is a good, no a great, way to live.  He has taught us that God does bring good out of all circumstances.  He has taught us that we are never too old to play.  He has taught us that we should never be embarrassed to embrace things we love.  Cal is my only boy, my Lone Ranger....he is my most favorite thirteen year old.  I adore you Callahan Leigh Payne, and I am proud to be your Mama!

The End of an Era!

Tomorrow is the end of an era....a kiss it goodbye kinda day....a sad day....a happy day....it's bittersweet.  Tomorrow is the last day of preschool for my little, actually for all my littles.  You see I've had a child in the preschool for the last 14 years.  For 12 of those 14 years, I have worked at this wonderful preschool; and I've seen one or more of my babies playing on the playground, singing in their music class, listening to a story in their classrooms.  But tomorrow is the end.  I will start back in the fall, and there will be no little Payne accompanying me to work every day.  As much as I want my kiddos to grow up to be healthy, happy, responsible, kind, loving, serving adults; I just wish it didn't happen quite so fast.  I mean just yesterday, I was rocking my baby girl and lying her in a crib.  And now....well now....I'm not!  It's the end of an era!

I Wonder

Sometimes I wonder if I'm too hard on my kids?  Sometimes I wonder if some of the things they do that drive me the craziest are because of my parenting?  Sometimes I wonder if NPayne's EXTREMELY laid back personality is suppose to benefit me or drive me nuts?  Sometimes I wonder why nobody else in my family sees the same things I do?  Sometimes I wonder how they can all be so different when they come from the same two people's DNA?  Sometimes I wonder who is in charge, and then I realize it could be me!

Get Out Of My Business

Someone has been trying to get into my business for quite a while.  It started several years ago when someone tried to change the mailing address to my GAP credit card, then we started receiving phone calls from Sears demanding payment on a credit card we didn't have....in my name.  Soon thereafter I received a phone call from an attorney representing CITI saying they would be pursuing a lawsuit.  We have had someone hack into my cell phone several times trying to access different things.  I receive emails daily about re-setting my PAYPAL account or a notice for my bank account....all phishing sites.  Then recently I had a friend, who gave someone my blog address for photography purposes, but it wouldn't open.  I tried it, and guess what????  Both of my blogs had been deleted.  Fortunately that was an easy fix, but SERIOUSLY....this is crazy.  I wonder what crazy thing....this other LORIE PAYNE has done, or if there are just people trying to get into my business.  You know what the really weird thing is about all of this......I DON'T HAVE A CREDIT CARD, and I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY!  I find it quite baffling that they are trying to steal something I don't even have!  I don't get it, but take this as a warning.....be careful how you dispose of your bills, statements, etc.; check your credit history often!  It's frightening how easy it is for someone to get into your business!  I just want them out of mine!

CORNER

Great lesson in SS today.  I am a huge fan of the NOOMA videos by Rob Bell.  I think he has a really cool and creative way of making his point, and I think his points are so very valid.  The one we watched today was entitled Corner.  It was about how sometimes successes can over ride what's really important.  I'm sure some of you think....Yea, I know, I've heard this before.  And honestly I have too, but I love the way Rob gets the point across.  Sometimes we get so busy and have so much that we forget to cherish the little things that we use to cherish, that we throw away the scraps instead of sharing them with someone who may need them, that we lose touch with Christ and each other.  In the video there is someone cutting away at some fabric and instead of throwing out the scraps, that are cut away, she uses them to embellish a little girl's dress.  The end of the video shows the little girl skipping happily down the street with her "new" dress.  The main point Rob was trying to make was...."Our overflow can be someone else's necessity!"  I love that!  It is exactly how it sounds....it's not a fancy or complicated way of saying what's true.....sometimes people need our extras!  The other point he made was....we often have what we think others need, and when we share it; we discover that they had what we wanted all along.  That may sound a little more complicated, but what he is saying is that oftentimes when we give back; we are the ones who benefit more than the people who receive our "scraps or overflow".  What I kept thinking throughout the video was that even if we have overflow or have nothing, really it's not ours anyway.  Everything belongs to GOD.....EVERYTHING!  We do with it what He tells us to do.  One of my main goals in raising my children has been to teach them that what we have is way more than we need, and instead of consuming it all for ourselves or throwing away our "scraps"; we give back.  We are called to serve.  Today in the church bulletin was a blurb about our next "Fiesta".  Our church has adopted a lower income community in our neighborhood, and we help them with many things....remodeling and fixing up their homes, school supplies, Christmas gifts, lunch for their children in the summers, and sometimes we have FIESTA just for fun.  Well a Fiesta is coming up.  Drew saw this and was so excited.  My girls love to go and play with the children there.  But this time she was excited, because she has a plan.  She's been making these little dolls, and she has decided to give each girl in that community one of her handmade dolls.  When I see my children think of these ways to give back and serve others, all on their own, I can imagine my God smiling and patting them on the head and saying...."Yes my child, you understand!"

Kindergarten

Tomorrow is the day....my baby girl, my fifth child, my fourth daughter....I will register her for kindergarten!  SIGH!  I can't believe it.  All of my children will be in school next year, and I will be....well...alone!  Actually I will be working, now that I have a full time job...not that being a mother isn't a full time job; so really I have more than one full time job.  I remember when my first born was little, and then came my second and quickly after my third....and I was eager for preschool to start each fall.  Kindergarten......not so much!  It's a different story....I was never ready for that, although my kiddos were....well most of them anyway.  Kindergarten is for "big" kids who can't take their lovies to school anymore and don't get to take a nap at school anymore and can't sit in their teacher's lap anymore and don't stay home with me a few days a week anymore.  Kindergarten is what so many mamas can't wait for, but for me.....it comes way too fast....and I miss my baby girl so deeply already that my body physically hurts.  I'm not sure how I will feel come August when she actually goes.  She will love it, that I know, and she is ready, that I know; but it has still come way too fast.