Saturday, May 28, 2011

May 28....The Best Day of 1999!

Happy Birthday to my second born....my only son....my Lone Ranger....our prince! Happy Birthday to the child who has taught me more about life than I could have ever imagined....the child who does not know how to lie....the child who loves unconditionally....the child who doesn't hold a grudge. Happy Birthday to my very special boy....the boy who was created perfectly by God, and although he has special needs....I know he is perfect in God's eyes. Happy Birthday to the boy who loves mail boxes, trash trucks, trains, his sisters, his daddy, and me! Happy Birthday to the boy who is completely overjoyed by the simplest things in life....who can remember anything you have ever told him....who is neat and tidy....who rarely tells me he loves me but shows me with his expressions. Happy Birthday to the son I had always wanted!
I lavish you with love and adoration, and I thank God for trusting me to teach you about Him and care for you! I love you Callahan Leigh Payne. How have 12 years come and gone so fast?

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

SUMMER

Almost summer.....Yahoo!
Looking forward to:
swimming
sleeping in
no make up
having my littles home
sleeping in
getting organized what has been unorganized
BEACH
lots of reading
sleeping in
vacation
VBS
Mission Trip
church activities
less cooking and more grilling
sleeping in
spending lots of family time together
Not looking forward to:
100 + degree temps! UGH!

Sunday, May 22, 2011

STORM

There's a storm going on....it's loud and complete with lightning and thunder....the rain is torrential....there is not a quiet moment....it gives me an uneasy feeling. I know it will end with a rainbow....and for that I am so thankful....since the storm is in my heart!

Friday, May 20, 2011

Eager Elliot The Pirate

Let me introduce you to Eager Elliot....the cutest pirate in the world. She is not only eager to learn and play, but she is also eager to teach and have fun. It was pirate week at her preschool, and she loved it. The only negative is that she may end up using the word "booty" a little too often and in many other ways than it is intended by pirates! ;)
So far though, she only said it once and then covered her mouth and giggled!

Monday, May 16, 2011

BEAUTIFUL

Beautiful luncheon...
Beautiful group of women that I work with...
Beautiful tree that was planted in honor of my sweet boss's retirement...
Beautiful committee of church members that made the luncheon so special...
Beautiful children that we teach and love...
Beautiful day...

Friday, May 13, 2011

BIG BUBBLE

I love this photo. Elliot's preschool teacher took it at school. Our preschool, where all 5 of my kids have gone and I have worked for the last 12 years, is spectacular. I just love it, and I just love Ms. Singleton! What a blessing to be part of such a wonderful school.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Here We Go Again

So I'm up at 3:30 am, because once again God is speaking to me. I love it when He speaks so clearly, and I guess I do my best listening in the middle of the night. I have been seeking His guidance and His will, and He has told me what to do. Being obedient can be very scary, but it's a good thing to know that you are doing what He tells you to do. I am praying about many things and am asking for Him, to once again, guide me and let me follow. Honestly I was hoping He would guide me a certain way and have tried to steer it that way, but so far; it seems like I'm going in the total opposite direction. Being obedient is hard. I would just ask for prayers that I am truly hearing Him and not my own broken heart or my own self doubt or my own pride, but that it is HIM that I hear. He has been speaking very clearly to me lately, so I am trying to wait patiently for His next move!

Monday, May 9, 2011

Deeper

We're getting in deeper here, and I'm not completely thrilled about it. I was feeling like I wanted to move a few months ago, then my beloved pastor died and that all changed. I felt like I needed my church family so much. Now that feeling is creeping back in, and I keep thinking about moving. My daughter will be starting high school next year, and she has auditioned and made varsity honors drumline....deeper. My kids are really attached to their children's pastor and youth pastor....deeper. Our church is like a second home....deeper. My children have some wonderful friends....deeper. NPayne and I don't have a job secured anywhere else (I don't have a job secured here, so that doesn't really count)....deeper. I am feeling smothered here, and I keep thinking I want to dig myself out and move on; but I have to remember that I have a family who are very happy here. Being content is up to the individual...you choose not to be content, so I am going to try to choose TO BE content! Pray that I will!

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Happy Mother's Day!


It's one of my favorite weekends of the year....MOTHER'S DAY! I am so extremely blessed to be a mother. And my heart breaks for those who so desire to be blessed in this way but have not been. Being a mother is the absolute best job I have ever and will ever have. I could never really put into words what it means to me, or what the best part about motherhood is; but I'm going to try:

Nuzzling a baby in the dark quiet middle of the night when they are scared, hungry, or sick. This time is short, so treasure it while you can.
Cuddling up in my bed every single night to hold hands, talk, and just be together before they all scurry off to their own beds.
Being loved completely and unconditionally.
Loving completely and unconditionally.
Being considered the most amazing woman they know.
Funny phrases they say.
The never ending need to be tucked in.
Singing them songs at night and their own personal bedtime prayer.
Listening to them read to me and reading to them.
Chunky rolls so sweet you could eat them with a spoon.
Baby hands and feet.
The smell of a baby.
Watching them go from diapers to drumline to driving.
Laughing at their jokes, and them laughing at mine!
Teaching them and watching them grow in Christ.
The big decisions they have to make.
Making mistakes and resolving them in a godly way.
Asking those thought provoking questions that only a child will ask.
Constant kisses and hugs.
Sitting in my lap even when they are too big to fit.
The longing desire to always have more babies.
The wonderful joyful smile that I'm greeted with every day when they climb into my car after school.
Listening to them pray.
Never ending stories.
Seeing the excitement the first time they accomplish something big.
The "I LOVE YOU MOMMY"s that I hear frequently.
Those eyes....those soulful, trusting eyes.
The feel of my heart beating so fast when I can't get home quick enough to see them.
The love they have for each other.
Their wonderful daddy!
The way they forgive me instantly and don't ever hold a grudge.
That overwhelming feeling I often get when I look around and think....God has trusted me with these 5 precious children of His!

In my wildest dreams, I never knew how much my mother loved me....until I became a mother.
Happy Mother's Day to My Mama and all the other mamas out there!



Friday, May 6, 2011

The Calling

My confidence has been shot, my feelings hurt, my pride stepped on; and yet I choose to remain positive. I choose to remain supportive. I choose to remain encouraged. I choose to remain hopeful. I choose to do what Jesus would do....LOVE! Even when you listen and you know you are being called, and yet the outcome is not what you think it should be....you must stay strong in your faith and be excited....not fearful. You must know that although you believe the calling to be just, people make mistakes. Although you hear "NO", the answer might be "NOT YET"! Sometimes I think you are so vehemently called in a clear path, a clear direction, and you follow it even if you are scared. When it doesn't go the way you thought it would, you might start to doubt that you were hearing Him correctly....when in fact I think you recognized the calling and were obedient but sometimes God can change His mind and shut the door for your own protection or for a bigger calling. I am trusting this to be true and am praying that my ear will not be cut off to hearing what He has in store. Now I just need to listen and decipher what He is telling me to do....and remember it's not about what I want but about what He wants me to do. It's about serving in His name....that I know I am called to do and that I know He will not change His mind about! Thank you My Sweet Savior for speaking so clearly to me. I know you delight in me whether I am not confident or confident, strong or weak, fearful or excited, prideful or humble!

Look not to your own interests but to the interests of others. Phillipians 2:4

If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don't push your way to the front; don't sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand. Phillipians 2:1-4 The Message