Apparently I need some Bare Minerals to go along with my hair dye....

This morning after my 3 eldest children left for school, my husband left for work, my baby was still snoozing; Bryna (my sweet little 5 year old) and I were snuggled up watching cartoons. A commercial for Bare Minerals came on....honestly I wasn't paying attention, I was watching cartoons with my eyes closed if ya get my drift....and the following conversation occured:

B: Mommy do you have that stuff?
Me: (Without opening my eyes) No dear I don't have any of that makeup.
B: You should get some....it does good things to your cheeks....
Pause
B: It keeps your cheeks from cracking (with this remark I open my eyes to see her using her hands to try to push her cheeks up as if to demonstrate for me).
Another Pause
B: It gets all the bad stuff off your cheeks.
B: (In an even more convincing tone with a hint of gentleness and concern) You have some bad stuff.
With this remark, I didn't say a word but looked her right in the eye to see if she would further explain, which she did....
B: You have these, and she pointed to a small mole I have on my neck.
PHEW! I was relieved that she didn't point to my age spots or wrinkles....of course I guess "keeping your cheeks from cracking" does imply wrinkles.
Apparently I need some Bare Minerals, and some hair dye (remember my NOT ME MONDAY post)! What I have yet to tell these precious little girls is that they could be part of the reason I have gray hair and my cheeks are cracking....hmmmm.....go figure.
On the flipside, my daughters do pay me compliments very often; so I guess a few "helpful" critiques aren't the end of the world when they are done so in such a loving and kind way. If some gray hair and cracked cheeks are results from motherhood, I'll take them anyday; hopefully it will just show that I am aging with grace!

Wordful Wednesday

Here are 2 of my girls, Addison and Drew, at Sea World in 2005! Can you tell they were in awe of the dolphins flipping through the air? I loved this picture when I saw it, so much so, that I have it framed in my kitchen. For more Wordful Wednesday, go to Angie's blog. Thanks Angie.

IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN................

Welcome to this week's therapy session where we all relive the things we did NOT do.....to play along or read more NOT confessions, click on MckMama's blog.



This week, I did not stand in the bathroom putting on my makeup while Bryna and Drew were in the tub and NOT listen to them talk about me as if I weren't standing right there. And I did NOT hear them say the following things...."Wow, mommy is getting gray hair! Yes, she is....look right there by her ear! Do you see all of that gray hair?" I did NOT shoot them a look that said...Helloooooo, I'm standing right here while you diss on my hair. Then they did NOT seem to realize that yes I was listening and say the following...."Mommy, did you know you have gray hair?" Well I do NOW....thank ya very much!

After NOT listening to my 2 daughters talk in pure amazement about the abundance of gray hair that I am NOT getting (really it's NOT that much....really), I did NOT proceed to wash that gray right outta my hair that very next day! So there.....little ladies....no more NOT talking about your mother's gray hair like she is not even in the room.....well at least for 4-6 weeks.

I then did NOT tell a much younger friend of mine the following....."Once you turn 40, you need hair dye, reading glasses and sticky notes; so you can write everything down that you can no longer remember." Then I did NOT smile and feel oh so fabulous when another friend said...."You're 40? I thought you were 35!" I did NOT reply with the following...."I LOVE YOU, and actually I'm 42." I am NOT vain, really I'm NOT, but I guess I am self conscious....who knew!

I did NOT prepare my NOT ME post earlier in the week, so I wouldn't forget something....NOT ME! And I did NOT take notes, about my NOT ME post, on sticky notes....NOT ME!

I did NOT carry my toddler around all day on Saturday resulting in NOT only a very sore arm, but also a sore back and feet, and I am still NOT sore!

I am NOT getting old.....I AM NOT! I will never be too old to crawl around on the floor with my baby girl while singing in her music class, I will never be too old to help my daughter sell 400 boxes of Girl Scout cookies, I will never be too old for Saturday Night Disco, I will never be too old to let my children sit on my lap (and neither will they)! I will never be too old to have another child (I'm talking adoption here, although being pregnant always brings me great joy),I will never be too old for an exciting night out or night in (wink) with NPayne! I am YOUNG at heart, and that's not a NOT!

What did you NOT do this week?

Sunday Sermon Summary...Experience God's Love

This Wednesday is Ash Wednesday.....the beginning of the Lenten season. If you don't know much about Lent, here is an overview that I found when I googled it.

The season of Lent spans 40 weekdays beginning on Ash Wednesday and climaxing during Holy Week with Holy Thursday (Maundy Thursday), Good Friday, and concluding Saturday before Easter. Originally, Lent was the time of preparation for those who were to be baptized, a time of concentrated study and prayer before their baptism at the Easter Vigil, the celebration of the Resurrection of the Lord early on Easter Sunday. But since these new members were to be received into a living community of Faith, the entire community was called to preparation. Also, this was the time when those who had been separated from the Church would prepare to rejoin the community.
Today, Lent is marked by a time of prayer and preparation to celebrate Easter. Since Sundays celebrate the resurrection of Jesus, the six Sundays that occur during Lent are not counted as part of the 40 days of Lent, and are referred to as the Sundays in Lent. The number 40 is connected with many biblical events, but especially with the forty days Jesus spent in the wilderness preparing for His ministry by facing the temptations that could lead him to abandon his mission and calling. Christians today use this period of time for introspection, self examination, and repentance. This season of the year is equal only to the Season of Advent in importance in the Christian year, and is part of the second major grouping of Christian festivals and sacred time that includes Holy Week, Easter, and Pentecost.

In our church we celebrate Ash Wednesday with a service led by the confirmation class (of which my eldest daughter, Addison, happens to be a part). Our youth pastor leads the sermon, but the confirmands (whom are mostly 6th graders) provide the prayers, scriptures, and praise and worship. On Ash Wednesday, at the conclusion of the service, you go before a pastor who places the sign of the cross on your forehead in ashes. The ashes come from the burned palm leaves that were used in the previous Lenten Season during Palm Sunday. The ashes signify repentance for the person who is receiving them.
Matthew 6:16-18
16 “And when you fast, don’t make it obvious, as the hypocrites do, for they try to look miserable and disheveled so people will admire them for their fasting. I tell you the truth, that is the only reward they will ever get. 17 But when you fast, comb your hair and wash your face. 18 Then no one will notice that you are fasting, except your Father, who knows what you do in private. And your Father, who sees everything, will reward you.
During Lent, we are asked to fast....Pastor Ken asks us to all give something up....something that is really hard to do without for the entire season of Lent. You are suppose to cut something out of your life.....that brings you pleasure or fulfillment in some sense of the word whether it be a certain type of food, sweets, sodas, impulse buying, etc. Something that you use or do often, so that every time you think about "NOT" using or doing it; you will remember Jesus. For example, if you drink coffee all day long (like I do) and chose to give up coffee for Lent; you would think about Jesus and the sacrifice He made for you everytime you wanted a cup of coffee.....basically for me it would be all day long. It's not suppose to be easy or enjoyable.....the sacrifice.....I mean think about the word sacrifice, and one of its meanings found in the dictionary....the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim.
Can you believe that Jesus thought we were a higher or more pressing claim? He gave His life for us....He died, so we could live eternally with Him.
In Isaiah 58:3-9, it is explained how we should not fast and how we should fast....
'Why do we fast and you don't look our way? Why do we humble ourselves and you don't even notice?' 3 -5"Well, here's why:
"The bottom line on your 'fast days' is profit. You drive your employees much too hard. You fast, but at the same time you bicker and fight. You fast, but you swing a mean fist. The kind of fasting you do won't get your prayers off the ground. Do you think this is the kind of fast day I'm after: a day to show off humility? To put on a pious long face and parade around solemnly in black? Do you call that fasting, a fast day that I, God, would like?
6 -9"This is the kind of fast day I'm after: to break the chains of injustice, get rid of exploitation in the workplace, free the oppressed, cancel debts. What I'm interested in seeing you do is: sharing your food with the hungry, inviting the homeless poor into your homes, putting clothes on the shivering ill-clad, being available to your own families. Do this and the lights will turn on, and your lives will turn around at once. Your righteousness will pave your way. The God of glory will secure your passage. Then when you pray, God will answer. You'll call out for help and I'll say, 'Here I am.'
God wants us to see things the way He sees them, not the way we want to see them. He wants us to align ourselves with Him. Lent is a time devoted to helping you achieve this.
During Lent, our pastors are encouraging us to try to do the following....EVERY SINGLE DAY!
1. Pray and read scripture.
2. Do a lot of self examination and repentance....examine our relationship with God, ask His forgiveness for things we need to, and repent or change the direction of these things.
3. Almsgiving....giving of yourself to the poor whether it be financially or with your time or both.
4. Self Denial....FAST something....something that is truly hard to do without, so that everytime you think of it; you will then think of why you are doing without it....you will think of Jesus and His sacrifice.
Don't you think you can make a sacrifice for Lent? Jesus sacrificed His life just for you and for me!
Galatians 2:20
20 My old self has been crucified with Christ.[a] It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Pastor Ken says....When you make a sacrifice this Lenten season, you are crucifying yourself in the name of God. That takes my breath away when I think about it....I am crucifying myself in the name of God by making a sacrifice. I think about the sacrifice Jesus made for me, and my sacrifice seems so minimal compared to His. But I can't help but wonder....if we don't crucify ourselves in the name of God, was His sacrifice all in vain?
Change is not easy....as Albert Einstein said, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." This Lenten Season, make the change you need to make to grow your relationship with God.

The Change In Me.....

Tomorrow we will join in celebration of the life of Shiloh Ross, born on January 5th 2009 and entered through Heaven's gates on January 5th 2009. Shiloh did not experience life on earth, and we never got to experience the wonderful joy that a baby brings the first time you hold him; but we are experiencing joy, truly joy that I can't even explain. The memorial and celebration of this child will surely bring many tears, but it will also bring much change to all those who know his parents and who know the Lord. The good and glory to God that has already come from the birth of this baby, in just a few short weeks, is too difficult for me to explain via text. It is truly amazing, and I am forever changed. When their first son, Chet Harris, died on the day of his birth 3 years ago; I never imagined the wonderful transformation that would take place in my life; as well as, the lives of so many others. Of course the heartbreak and emptiness still lingers, but for me; the blessings are immeasurable. I am forever changed because of these two little boys, that I never held, and their inspirational parents whom I cherish. I wish all of you, who are reading this, could know Leslie and Jeff....the parents of these boys. You too would be forever changed, your heart would be overflowing, and your soul would be a little closer to being in tact. They will still need prayers....every single day....as they grieve for their sons, but please know that they are going to be just fine....they are leaning on Jesus and will continue to do so all the days of their lives.

Wordful Wednesday

Here is my precious prince, Callahan, he absolutely loves trains! We are fortunate enough to live right by some railroad tracks complete with a vintage train and train depot! We took the boy and the girls down to the train depot last weekend, and this is my favorite photo of Cal. My heart jumps for joy when I look at it. Now you have to understand what an accomplishment this is....my son use to absolutely HATE, I mean abhor, detest, have an all out meltdown over getting his photo taken. Posing for a photo was right out of the question, but my oh my how things have changed....now he not only poses; but he actually enjoys it from time to time. He has grown and progressed in so many areas....it makes my heart race with excitement when I think about it. One thing I've learned to be very true about my son.....he has Autism, he has Fragile X; but those things don't have him. If you would like more information on Autism or Fragile X, please click here. For more Wordful Wednesday, visit Angie's blog!

Sunday Sermon Summary...Discover God's Love

Matthew 17:1-8

The Transfiguration

1 Six days later Jesus took Peter and the two brothers, James and John, and led them up a high mountain to be alone. 2 As the men watched, Jesus’ appearance was transformed so that his face shone like the sun, and his clothes became as white as light. 3 Suddenly, Moses and Elijah appeared and began talking with Jesus.
4 Peter exclaimed, “Lord, it’s wonderful for us to be here! If you want, I’ll make three shelters as memorials[a]—one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.”
5 But even as he spoke, a bright cloud overshadowed them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my dearly loved Son, who brings me great joy. Listen to him.” 6 The disciples were terrified and fell face down on the ground.
7 Then Jesus came over and touched them. “Get up,” he said. “Don’t be afraid.” 8 And when they looked up, Moses and Elijah were gone, and they saw only Jesus.

Pastor Ken began with the above scripture....then he made the following statement.... Spiritual life is about a journey: A journey about following God. You're never sure where He will lead or what He has planned, but you still follow. He said, "The most powerful moments have never come when I have planned." He then talked about going to Kenya which he has done several times. He said that one of the most powerful moments while he was in Kenya was when he was watching them count the offering at the small church he attended. He realized that the majority of the contribution made that particular Sunday came from the group that he was traveling with. He said he realized just how much money those 9 people, including him, had given of the total contribution. And although it wasn't much money to him and the others he was traveling with, it was a much larger amount to the Kenyans it would serve. He never imagined that one of the most powerful moments of that trip would revolve around money, but it did. To get to Kenya, you know you have to get on a plane there; and you will have to get on a plane home. The in between part, although it may be planned, usually falls by the wayside.

Peter, James and John all had a plan.....their plan was to leave everything and follow Jesus. However in the above scripture, we see that Peter is comfortable right where they are. He likes it there. He wants to dwell there and stop there. Ken stated that it can often be dangerous if we become comfortable in where we are, we may stop seeking Him if we become too comfortable. In the above passage, the cloud of God is leading them on. Clouds, as I'm sure you know, aren't still....they constantly move. We have to move on as well to truly follow God and trust Him. Give control over to Him.

10 Who among you fears the Lord and obeys his servant? If you are walking in darkness, without a ray of light, trust in the Lord and rely on your God.... Isaiah 50:10!
It's difficult to get around in the dark, but even as a person of faith; you will have times in the dark. These times force you to trust God.

Psalms 119:105....105 Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path. Scripture is necessary in our walk with Christ. It's necessary in growing our faith. It's the light that guides on this journey.

Ken closed with the following....To get to Kenya, you have to get on the plane. Your spiritual journey is the same way....you have to make some intentional plans....where they will lead is up to Him.

To join in on the weekly dose of therapy and NOT admit to things you would have NEVER done, visit MckMama's blog by clicking here.

This week I did NOT secretly eat a few, no several, no about a hundred of Cal's M&M Valentines; because well after all....he wasn't going to eat them.

I did NOT let my girls play hooky today just because it was more convenient for me, and because I really wanted them to enjoy some girl time with their mama! I did NOT send Cal to school, because he doesn't really enjoy "girl time"; since he is a boy.....and because he really really wanted to go to school. I did NOT, seriously now, want to disrupt his routine.....children with autism thrive on routine. Letting my girls play hooky is NOT completely out of my comfort zone, because I am NOT a rule follower!

I did NOT here myself say....over and over and over again...."Thank You God" for various circumstances over the past week.

I did NOT here myself pray....over and over and over again...."Please bring peace and comfort and strength" for various families who have lost children over the past week.

Once again.....I did NOT cry in church!

While in Sunday School, I did NOT completely realize while reading Phillipians that NPayne and I should be like minded in Christ, BUT not necessarily like minded in how we do things....so this means he cleans the kitchen differently than I do; and it's not wrong, it's just different!

I have NOT not posted my Sunday Sermon Summary yet, because I did NOT spend the entire Sunday evening trying to get this photo that I took of my 4 princesses and 1 prince EXACTLY how I want it to look.....it's NOT going to be FABULOUS! By the way....Sunday Sermon Summary coming soon!

What did you NOT do this week?

Update on My Lifelong Friend

My Lifelong Friend returned home on Saturday, February 7th. She is receiving physical therapy and occupational therapy 3 times/week at her home. She will not be able to drive for a very long time due to the stroke and will have to take a driving test before she can drive again.....Help Me Henry.....I might be in trouble if I had to take mine again. When she was telling me about the driving test....I told her, and she knows, how much I don't like to drive....even as a teenager....didn't care for it. I taught all of my girlfriends how to drive my stick shift, so they could drive us around; because I just don't like to drive. I am the same way with talking on the phone....but that's another post. Anyhoo....I was telling her that if I ever won the lottery (which I won't, because you have to actually buy a ticket to win), I wouldn't buy an expensive house or a bunch of stuff; BUT I would hire myself a driver.....just don't like to drive. After we laughed at the image of a chauffer driving me and the children around in my suburban, I did tell her that even though I don't like to drive.....if I was unable to drive, I wouldn't like that even more. She agreed, and what's even worse for her is she actually does like to drive. Then we began talking about my arthritis....I was diagnosed with RA after my 3rd child was born when I was 34 years old. I was attempting to make the bench seat into a bed, while she was still in the hospital, so I could spend the night; and I was having some problems doing it. She asked me how my RA was doing.....I said it's amazing what you have problems doing when your pinky hurts, and we both laughed; because she is experiencing the same kind of thing....hers isn't really pain, but it's the numbness and lack of feeling at all caused by the temporary paralysis from the stroke. Then she began telling me how she was more nervous about having speech therapy than anything. The stroke didn't affect her speech much, but it affected her swallowing and some of her reasoning skills. She then said, "I'm okay with not being able to brush my hair or tie my shoe, but not with not being able to rationalize and reason." Thank the dear Lord that she was released from speech after a few weeks, because they felt like everything was fine. Then the deep discussion started....It went something like this....
Her....Who would have ever thought that I would be lying in a rehabilitation unit of a hospital?
Me.... Yes I know, everything happened so fast.
Her.... A few short weeks ago, I was living life in my usual way.
Me.... I know you were. Things can spin out of control really fast. I remember thinking to myself, over and over again, when my dad was diagnosed with cancer; and I knew that he wouldn't be there for our next Christmas....how much I wish I could remember every single moment of the Christmas before. Never in a million years did I ever think that would be our last Christmas with him. It has helped me not to take things for granted, but I still do take things for granted.
Her.... Yes like being able to cut your meat and put on eyeliner??? (She is not able to do that just yet).
Me.... Or being able to make a bed or tie a shoe???
Then we both laughed softly and seriously, because even though we were making light of the situation; we both know how much we have to be thankful for. We both know how easy it is to fall into the trap of taking things for granted, and we both know how great is our God!

On February 21, 2009....her son, Shiloh, will be laid to rest. Please be in prayer for my Lifelong Friend and her husband! It's a road they have walked before and is familiar, but it is not a road that they long to visit again!

Let Me Clarify.....

I have to get something off my chest....Once again.....I have to say that I hope this post is not offensive to anyone who reads it. If it is, I apologize; but it's from the deepest part of my heart. READY, SET, GO!!!!
I have 2 great friends, who I have known longer than half of my life, Todd and Joey. They were high school sweethearts and got married in our early twenties. They are happily married with 6, 7th on the way, children. Todd and Joey are devoted to each other, their children, their friends but mostly to GOD! When Joey told me last Sunday that she was expecting.....she called me and said "I am about to send out an e-mail, to everyone (meaning her family and our friends) I know, would you read it and tell me what you think?" I said "Absolutely" already knowing what the e-mail would be about before I ever read it. As I read it, I was correct in what it was about, but I was not correct in my assumption about how she would announce their joyful news. You see Joey was struggling with this great news of a new baby, because of the great suffering our Lifelong friend who just lost her second son was experiencing, along with the fact that her own sister had just suffered her 3rd miscarriage; but she was also struggling with the negative remarks she would encounter about having ANOTHER baby. I read the e-mail that announced their upcoming blessing, and as I read Joey's words about how she and Todd truly believe that God is in control of their family and its size, but also that some of us (meaning the readers of the e-mail) would think they were crazy. I realized that she (like many people with several children myself included) had felt like their good news would be met by criticism, questioning, or condesension. After I read her e-mail, I called her back; and we began a discussion about this. Of course I started with a true offering of congratulations, a little discussion about how envious I was, and some reassurance that her e-mail was worded very appropriately, for her sister who had just suffered her 3rd miscarriage and our Lifelong Friend who had just lost her second son at birth. Then we began to talk about the true blessing of a child, in every circumstance, that we both believe a child is a blessing from God. Now don't misunderstand what I'm saying here....I know many people, actually most people I know (NPayne included here), who are completely satisfied with controlling their family size; and I think that it is very admirable for folks to know.....this is it for us, we are completely content with our family size. I truly respect people who know their limits. Again don't misunderstand me when I include NPayne in the above statement and not myself, because I am so thankful and so blessed with my family and my children. If you remember in a previous post....To Envy or To Be Envied, I talk about the longing and the urge that I have to have more children. Don't get me wrong, being a mother is hard work; and I am by no means a perfect mother or even close to a perfect mother.....far from it. And just because I would have loved to have a house full, wait a minute I already have a house full, let's just say several more children; doesn't make me a great mother or a saint or crazy or delusional. It's just how I feel. As I'm sure most mothers would agree....my children make me a better person....they make me want to try harder, to be more faithful, to be more patient, to be a good example, to be a better servant, to seek the kingdom of God. Today in my Bible Study, we talked about talents; so I came home and looked up the word talent in the dictionary. One of the definitions was....a power of mind or body considered as given to a person for use and improvement: so called from the parable in Matt. 25:14–30....The Parable of the Three Servants. I suddenly saw this parable in a different way which was completely applicable to my life as a mother. You take what is given to you and do what you can to make it grow or better or improve. Now it also mentions "given to a person for use" which I also saw as completely applicable in my life as a mother. I have always been a christian, and I have always longed for relationship with Jesus; but it wasn't until I became a parent that I really started seeking Him and searching for that relationship. Becoming a mother is what initially brought me closer to Jesus. Originally I wanted to do this for my children, which I still do, but I have learned in the last few years that I want a relationship with Jesus for myself as well; because He longs for one with me. Becoming a parent has made me be much more intentional when I pray and give thanks, it has made me be much more intentional with my actions and choices. Don't get me wrong I get frustrated as a mother, but I have learned that when I become frustrated with my children, I need to take some time and really realize the blessing that I have been given.....the blessing that so many women never experience.....I'm not always 100% right on this, sometimes I stew a bit in my frustration before I give thanks to God for how He has blessed me; but I do always give thanks to Him. If I get frustrated with my children, I have learned that I need to take a deep breath and really think about the magnitude of this blessing....then when my heart is right, I go to Him and thank Him again and again. Becoming a mother was the best gift I have ever received, and I am completely overwhelmed when I think about it. I love being a mother with every ounce of my being.....I'm not saying that if you don't have the urge to have more children that you don't love being a mother with every ounce of your being, because the mothers I know all do; but I think they also know their limits when it comes to family size. I know there are many other women who are just like me, whether they have 1 or 7 or no children, they battle the urge. I guess I haven't discovered my limits yet....maybe it's a good thing that NPayne has discovered his, but I think I have discovered one of my talents.