I have found myself saying "Fear Not" quite often for the last year or so. When Callahan started 4th grade, I began to become a little anxious about middle school. I know, I know....it was two years away....but as is my nature, I worry sometimes. A lot of it stemmed from Addi starting middle school at that time and all of the changes that took place. I kept thinking....How is Cal going to handle this? How is he going to survive in this environment? After a few months....I decided that there was no reason to worry about it until it was upon us....so every time a worry entered my mind, I would say "Fear Not, for I am with you..."! Amazing how much it helped ease my worries. Well now we are down to 2 1/2 days of school left, and I've been saying "FEAR NOT, for I am with you...." about every half hour! ;) I have heard that if you worry, you aren't trusting in God. I do believe that, and I am putting forth my best effort to not be a worrier. But I'll admit that sometimes worry still overcomes me....not just about Callahan but about my girls, finances, health of loved ones, etc. I'm a worrier by nature, so to just up and not be a worrier takes a conscious effort. I'm trying....I am! Cal has toured the middle school, we know who his special ed. teacher will be, we love her, he seems fairly comfortable with it....at least for now....all of his friends will be there, Addi will still be there. There are lots of things that are comforting about him going to middle school. My worries seem to lye elsewhere....what about the kids who don't know Cal...the ones who don't understand autism....the ones who don't care to understand him....the ones who will tease him....."FEAR NOT"! What about the kids who will steal his gym clothes....like they stole Addi's...."FEAR NOT"! What about waiting in the carpool lane....how will he know where to go....what about him not seeing his typical friends....what about the isolation...."FEAR NOT"! What if the teachers don't love him as much as the ones at the elementary school do....I've encountered many at the middle school who aren't....let's just say...very patient or kind....."FEAR NOT"! Cal has been at the same school since he was 3. He is accepted there. What if he's not accepted at the middle school...."FEAR NOT"! Then there's just getting myself through the last 2 days of school....all the celebrations, moving on ceremonies, clap out....where everyone in the entire school claps and cheers as the 5th graders exit the school for the very last time....everyone will be so happy, and I will be so.....sad! How am I going to survive all these celebrations? "FEAR NOT"! How is Cal going to survive these celebrations? "FEAR NOT"!
Deep Breath....SIGH....Deep Breath....SIGH! FEAR NOT, for I am with you! I will hold fast to HIM and put my trust in HIM, and I will FEAR NOT! But....that doesn't mean I won't cry like a baby!
Fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
For I, the Lord your God,
hold your right hand;
it is I who say to you, “Fear not,
I am the one who helps you.”
No comments:
Post a Comment