Life!

It seems like my blog has been full of a lot of serious stuff lately.  I guess it's just what I've been called to share during this time of life.  I'm a pretty private person, and for a really long time; I didn't share anything with anyone but my mom.  I kept everything to myself and carried those hard things on my own.  To be honest, I still have some things that I've never told another living person. I keep them pushed way back into the farthest part of my heart and soul.  I always tell myself that nobody needs to hear these things, because they are hard and heartbreaking things.  Why would I want anyone else to suffer the same things I suffer?  A few years ago, I was very close to sharing with a dear friend; but I closed that door to my brain and heart.  The last few weeks, I've also been very close to sharing; but I haven't gained the courage.  God has led me to be more vulnerable in many aspects of my life and sometimes maybe I even overshare which is a direct contradiction to how things use to be.  But there are still some things that terrify me to say out loud.  In my walk with Christ and knowing His complete adoration for me, I've become more aware of how my stories can oftentimes help others.  I've also become more aware of being obedient, and when I know Jesus is telling me to talk to someone...I do.  Sometimes He tells me to share something encouraging, sometimes it's something hard, sometimes it's experiences, sometimes it's gratitude, sometimes it's sorrow and sometimes it's just my ears to listen.  He knows my heart and my desires, and He knows I have things I long for deep in my soul.  Sometimes He tells me to share those as well, and sometimes He doesn't; so they will stay tucked away until He does.