As I stated in my previous post, I have so many people who have impacted my life for good and made it richer; and I want to share a little about them. So I am going to feature one person each week. I decided to start with my dear sweet and hysterical friend Kelli. I have known Kelli since Junior High School. and yes that is a looooong time. She is one year younger than I, but we bonded immediately when we met. My first impression of Kelli was that she was one of the happiest people I had ever seen - she smiles a lot, and I don't know that I had ever met someone that smiled as much as Kelli. She is cute as a bug, and she is also a ball of fire...more to come on that in a bit. She is also tough as nails. Shortly after we met, she suffered a compound fracture while playing soccer. You know the kind of broken bone, where your bone comes through the skin?? I never heard her once complain about the inconvenience or pain that accompanied that broken leg, huge cast and all. I remember going to see her in the hospital and thinking to myself...have mercy, that's BAD. She is very conservative, but she is not afraid to stand up for what she believes. Kelli is my hero for having a plan in life...she had her daughter's college paid for by the time she was in kindergarten (I think maybe even before), and she is one of the hardest workers I know. She spends her money and time wisely, and she is not afraid to ask your advice. She is not one to ask you for help, but with time and the struggles she has recently faced; she is getting much better about asking and accepting. I always look forward to seeing Kelli, no matter what the circumstance, and there have been a lot of difficult circumstances in her life lately. I have never been uncomfortable to be around her through anything. She is one the rocks in my life, and I could never ever give her the thanks that she deserves, and I hope she so humbly accepts. Now for the good stuff: Let me start when we were younger. When we were in Jr. High and High School together, we were cheerleaders (yes I said it out loud, and I'm proud of it, sort of). Anyway we were cheerleaders, and for every single game, no matter what uniform we wore - Kelli wore these white plastic beads. You have to remember that this was in the 80's, so that sort of stuff was in style (I guess); although I would have never been caught dead in them. In every year book picture, I think even with her homecoming dress (she was a homecoming princess) she had on those stinkin' beads. She couldn't have looked any less cool or any less athletic wearing those white plastic beads, and YES cheerleading is a sport (at least we liked to think so). Kelli also was extremely conservative with her unmentionables. As cheerleaders, we shared rooms together during camp and changed in front of each other for practice, etc.; but I don't know if I have ever seen Kelli in her underwear. I just know, from what she has told me, that her undies are not the least bit "sexy". As a matter of fact, when she read my post about Pet Peeves, she e-mailed me and told me that her underwear do hang out the back of her pants; but it's because they are so HUGE. Kelli, Kelli, Kelli, will you ever learn? I, as a mother of 5 children, have often bathed with one of my kids when they were small. Kelli...not so much, I don't think she would be caught dead in a bath with anyone else EVER not even her daughter. Again back to the story... when I was a senior and she was a junior, we were having our annual cheerleader Christmas party where we drew someone's name to buy a gift for. You know where this is going....Well guess who I drew? Guess what I bought her? You got it, some really pretty (not sleezy) just pretty black panties and a black bra. It was mainly for a joke, but it was also because I thought she could use a little loosening up. Come on girl you're 17, and you're wearing granny panties? I think if that gift hadn't been from me, she might have gotten grounded; but her mama always liked me. I don't want to give you the wrong impression of Kelli, because she has impeccable taste (those beads are long gone); and she always looks great on the outside. Underneath, who knows?
Now for the Ball of Fire part...A couple of different things come to mind when I think about Kelli and our history together. One was the temper that that girl had which seems to have mellowed as we have gotten older. Again I am not the pot calling the kettle black, because I will admit that I too had a ferocious temper, which has sense mellowed tremendously. That's what motherhood will do for you. Anyway Kelli had a boyfriend, throughout much of our high school lives, who really set a spark in her (and not usually in a good way). I'm sure there were a lot of good, fun and sweet times shared between the two; but what I remember is the fighting....And did they fight. I'm talking fighting, with fists, not just words. I mean they had some fighting words as well, but help me Henry, these two could fight. I know that boys are never suppose to hit girls, but he and Kelli hit each other. Sometimes his might have been in self defense :-)! In fact after one altercation, she ended up with a broken nose. I remember it vividly....she came to a football game, all ready to cheer complete with white plastic beads, and a huge honkin' nose. She initially told us some made up story, but then she finally fessed up about the fight between her and her beau. Kelli could dish it out, and she could take it. Tough as nails. Now let's move on to another ball of fire story, and this one is literal. This past February, one of my sweet friends was turning 40; so we had some fun things planned throughout her birthday weekend. Let me give you a short bit of background here: there are 6 of us that have been there for each other through everything, and we are the LIFELONG FRIENDS...me, Kelli, Leslie, Joey, Cynthia and Michelle; so these would be the 6 to celebrate this big birthday together. There were several outings and meals, etc. planned to celebrate Joey turning 40. With all the outings planned, we were hoping that we could all share at least one outing with Joey for her birthday. It takes a lot of planning to get all 6 of us together for an entire weekend. Back to the story...the Sunday morning, of Joey's birthday weekend extravaganza, we had planned on meeting for brunch. As it turned out, Leslie, Joey, Kelli and I were the only ones who could meet that particular morning; so there we sat talking and enjoying each other. Secretly I had noticed that Kelli's hair looked a little different (not bad, just different): she had bangs. I hadn't seen her with bangs in a long time. As we were talking and discussing the holidays that had just passed, Kelli shared with us a horrifying yet hysterical tale. From here, I am going to let Kelli tell the story. Believe me when you read it, you will know that I could never have done it justice. These next words are hers, not mine.
Fire Day, December 24, 2007, approximately 7:15am CST
Heater had gone out. My mom in kitchen cooking for Christmas Eve Dinner all bundled in a robe and blanket. Me, still in my robe going to save the day and get the fireplace going. I turn the gas all the way up. Didn’t know you were supposed to open flume or flu or flew (see, don’t even know what you call it). I sat Indian style right in front of the fireplace and attempted to ignite that big long lighter thingy. After about 20-30 clicks the lighter finally lit. Well, since some time had elapsed and gas had collected, the moment I reached for the fireplace, a gynormous fireball shot out and shot me across the room. I remember standing up and seeing my pink heart robe on fire and looked up and made eye contact with my mom in the kitchen. Not real sure how she did it, but she rounded the corner in no time and tackled me, landing right on top of me. Then she beat me out, well the fire I should say. Pretty sure I had a cracked rib. 2nd degree burns on my hands and just first degree burns on my face and neck. Melted my glasses and removed my eyelashes and eyebrows and gobs of stinking hair singed. I have the scars to prove it and my bangs are still making their way in. I have been doing a comb over for 9 months and 6 days. I hope to dawn my newly grown left bangs by Christmas this year.
I calmly made my way to the emergency room at Baylor Grapevine where they separated my glasses and hair from my skin – they had become one. I was then introduced to morphine. Let’s just say the holidays started picking up from there…..
I will never again light a fireplace or any gas type object. I have given my gas grill away and purchased a new Weber that uses charcoal.
Heater had gone out. My mom in kitchen cooking for Christmas Eve Dinner all bundled in a robe and blanket. Me, still in my robe going to save the day and get the fireplace going. I turn the gas all the way up. Didn’t know you were supposed to open flume or flu or flew (see, don’t even know what you call it). I sat Indian style right in front of the fireplace and attempted to ignite that big long lighter thingy. After about 20-30 clicks the lighter finally lit. Well, since some time had elapsed and gas had collected, the moment I reached for the fireplace, a gynormous fireball shot out and shot me across the room. I remember standing up and seeing my pink heart robe on fire and looked up and made eye contact with my mom in the kitchen. Not real sure how she did it, but she rounded the corner in no time and tackled me, landing right on top of me. Then she beat me out, well the fire I should say. Pretty sure I had a cracked rib. 2nd degree burns on my hands and just first degree burns on my face and neck. Melted my glasses and removed my eyelashes and eyebrows and gobs of stinking hair singed. I have the scars to prove it and my bangs are still making their way in. I have been doing a comb over for 9 months and 6 days. I hope to dawn my newly grown left bangs by Christmas this year.
I calmly made my way to the emergency room at Baylor Grapevine where they separated my glasses and hair from my skin – they had become one. I was then introduced to morphine. Let’s just say the holidays started picking up from there…..
I will never again light a fireplace or any gas type object. I have given my gas grill away and purchased a new Weber that uses charcoal.
Leslie, Joey and I all sat with our mouths hanging open as we listened; then I think someone said something like...that's not funny, but why do I feel like laughing? And we laughed. I just want you to know that we realized how serious this could have been, and how fortunate she was. Kelli has a way of turning even the most horrifying things into something to laugh about, and we laugh a lot when we are with her. I know I thanked God that day for sparing her.
Now I want to tell you some more serious stuff about her and how I see Kelli. As she reads this, I know she will be a little embarassed; because she is not self -righteous at all. She has a little bit of a hard time accepting any sort of compliment, accolades or prompts (did I sound cool saying prompts?) In the last couple of years, she has gone through a very tumultuous and really frightening divorce. Her ex, how can I say this nicely, wasn't playing with a full deck and did some unspeakable things. I will tell you, without one doubt in my mind, that she was not one bit to blame for this divorce. When he would throw a curve ball in the situation, she always maintained the utmost integrity and self dignity. Kelli can be really hard on herself, but this time she knew that she was not to blame; and she wasn't going to let it affect her self image. I know there were times, within this horrible time, that she probably doubted and wondered- What did I do wrong here? But in the end, she trusted herself and her instincts; and Thank God she did.
During the last 6 months, Kelli suffered the loss of both of her parents to illness. Her father passed away last spring very unexpectedly, and her mother lost her long battle with cancer just a few short weeks ago. Throughout these last several months, as her mother fought and had surgeries and treatments; she lived at Kelli's house. Kelli lives in her house with her sweet little daughter and works full time where she has to travel often. In the midst of her already busy life, reeling from this divorce, and losing her dad; she openly took her sick mother in to her home. Kelli has a brother, who was more than willing to let their mother come to stay with him, but her mama chose to stay with Kelli. She is one of the most devoted people I have ever met. Now I'm going to be very frank, because it's my blog; and I can. I hope this next part doesn't come off an insensitive, because that is not my intention. If you have ever cared for, much less lived with, someone who is being treated for very aggressive and painful cancer; they are not pleasant people most of the time. I know this from experience, and it can be so very stressful and just hard to handle. One afternoon after her mama had been told there was nothing else they could do for her and was not given much more time to live, I called Kelli to talk. We both realized how good (in a weird way) it was that I had already been through this. There are so many emotions you face at the looming death of a parent that I can't even begin to explain them all. The one that we both talked about, during this particular phone call, was the guilt that we felt for being annoyed with our parents. I can't even imagine, what a dying person would feel, honestly I can't even imagine the emotions involved; but I remember being so annoyed with my dad for being so darn cranky. I just wanted to say to him, "YOU ARE DYING, Do you want to spend your last few weeks being mean to everyone you love?"; but I never did. It was so hard, because you want it to be something different than it is. I also remember talking with Kelli about the excrutiating pain that goes with the types of cancer our parents had, and the choices that had to be made there: meds that provide relief from the pain but destroy any alertness, or other pain meds which don't alleviate the excrutiating pain but allow them to be more alert. It's not a fun choice... you can either attempt to talk with your loved one while they are yelling out in pain or watch them lay there in a coma like state while feeling no pain. We talked about the physical care involved, and how neither one of us felt like we were cut out for this and how hard it was. I shared with Kelli the pain that still lingers, but I wanted her to know she was doing the right thing by being there with her mother until the end. Although Kelli is tough as nails, she has such a soft heart; and I've cried many tears with her. She has a hard head with a soft heart, although I think that hard headedness may be softening. Kelli has such a gentle and generous spirit and loves children. In fact, she is a kid at heart and that makes me smile when I think about it. I am honored and blessed to know her and have her as a friendly face in my life.
I hope this tribute to my sweet friend doesn't sound like a eulogy, but I sort of think it does. Oh well....at least you will know what I will say at your funeral if you happen to leave this earth before me.
Now I want to tell you some more serious stuff about her and how I see Kelli. As she reads this, I know she will be a little embarassed; because she is not self -righteous at all. She has a little bit of a hard time accepting any sort of compliment, accolades or prompts (did I sound cool saying prompts?) In the last couple of years, she has gone through a very tumultuous and really frightening divorce. Her ex, how can I say this nicely, wasn't playing with a full deck and did some unspeakable things. I will tell you, without one doubt in my mind, that she was not one bit to blame for this divorce. When he would throw a curve ball in the situation, she always maintained the utmost integrity and self dignity. Kelli can be really hard on herself, but this time she knew that she was not to blame; and she wasn't going to let it affect her self image. I know there were times, within this horrible time, that she probably doubted and wondered- What did I do wrong here? But in the end, she trusted herself and her instincts; and Thank God she did.
During the last 6 months, Kelli suffered the loss of both of her parents to illness. Her father passed away last spring very unexpectedly, and her mother lost her long battle with cancer just a few short weeks ago. Throughout these last several months, as her mother fought and had surgeries and treatments; she lived at Kelli's house. Kelli lives in her house with her sweet little daughter and works full time where she has to travel often. In the midst of her already busy life, reeling from this divorce, and losing her dad; she openly took her sick mother in to her home. Kelli has a brother, who was more than willing to let their mother come to stay with him, but her mama chose to stay with Kelli. She is one of the most devoted people I have ever met. Now I'm going to be very frank, because it's my blog; and I can. I hope this next part doesn't come off an insensitive, because that is not my intention. If you have ever cared for, much less lived with, someone who is being treated for very aggressive and painful cancer; they are not pleasant people most of the time. I know this from experience, and it can be so very stressful and just hard to handle. One afternoon after her mama had been told there was nothing else they could do for her and was not given much more time to live, I called Kelli to talk. We both realized how good (in a weird way) it was that I had already been through this. There are so many emotions you face at the looming death of a parent that I can't even begin to explain them all. The one that we both talked about, during this particular phone call, was the guilt that we felt for being annoyed with our parents. I can't even imagine, what a dying person would feel, honestly I can't even imagine the emotions involved; but I remember being so annoyed with my dad for being so darn cranky. I just wanted to say to him, "YOU ARE DYING, Do you want to spend your last few weeks being mean to everyone you love?"; but I never did. It was so hard, because you want it to be something different than it is. I also remember talking with Kelli about the excrutiating pain that goes with the types of cancer our parents had, and the choices that had to be made there: meds that provide relief from the pain but destroy any alertness, or other pain meds which don't alleviate the excrutiating pain but allow them to be more alert. It's not a fun choice... you can either attempt to talk with your loved one while they are yelling out in pain or watch them lay there in a coma like state while feeling no pain. We talked about the physical care involved, and how neither one of us felt like we were cut out for this and how hard it was. I shared with Kelli the pain that still lingers, but I wanted her to know she was doing the right thing by being there with her mother until the end. Although Kelli is tough as nails, she has such a soft heart; and I've cried many tears with her. She has a hard head with a soft heart, although I think that hard headedness may be softening. Kelli has such a gentle and generous spirit and loves children. In fact, she is a kid at heart and that makes me smile when I think about it. I am honored and blessed to know her and have her as a friendly face in my life.
I hope this tribute to my sweet friend doesn't sound like a eulogy, but I sort of think it does. Oh well....at least you will know what I will say at your funeral if you happen to leave this earth before me.
Kelli you are a wonderful role model for your daughter but also for your friends, co-workers and family. You are an exceptional woman, granny panties and all.
I forgot to add one thing....Kelli is tall, slender and beautiful! Oh and also tan (how was that Kelli?). Actually the slender and beautiful part is very accurate, tall and tan - use your imagination.
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