Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Forgive and Forget

I was reading an email from one of my dear friends tonight about her son and kindergarten. She was talking about how he was having a little bit of a hard time adjusting and making friends. It took me back to a day many many years ago when my now 7th grader, Addi, was in kindergarten. I use to pick Callahan up from his special ed. class each day around 11:15. I would circle around the back of the school, so I could drive by the playground; because Addi had recess at that time. I would drive really slowly, so I could spot her and then just watch her play for a minute. It would truly brighten my day!!! One particular day, I was driving really slowly and spotted her talking to 2 other little girls. I watched the other little girls' body language, and I could tell the conversation wasn't a kind one. As they ran off together, I watched Addi's shoulders slump....her head hang low....and her little body go sit all alone on the railroad ties which surround the playground. I stared at her face as I drove by, and it was the saddest I had ever seen it.....she wasn't crying, but the look on her face literally took my breath away; and I could feel my heart breaking. I immediately started sobbing in my car as I drove the rest of the way home. I was so hurt, confused and angry for her....why did they hurt her feelings like that? I cried every time I thought about her for the rest of the afternoon, and I continually rehearsed everything I was going to say to her to make her feel better when I picked her up. When she got in the car that afternoon, she was smiling her usual sweet smile; and I asked her the usual...."How was your day?" She cheerily said "Fine!" I asked her a few other leading questions hoping she would volunteer what happened on the playground, but she didn't. After a few minutes of probing, I decided not to bring it up and have her revisit whatever hurtful things were said to her. When we got home, we read books and talked about how to be a good friend and how kindness is contagious!!! She never did tell me what happened that day on the playground, and I never did ask her. Kids are so forgiving!!!! I wish we were all that way. What was one of the saddest moments in my life as a mother was just another day to Addison.....another day to forgive and forget!!!

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