Welcome to this week's session of Not Me Monday Therapy....created by MckMama....for those of us who really want to get some things off our chest but do NOT want to admit to them!
Last week, I did NOT help direct the VBS at my church for the umpteenth year. After last year when one of our directors had to take her son to the ER not once, but twice for stitches, I did NOT make a pact with my fellow directors that we would absolutely....under no condition...allow our children to be injured or ill during this week of complete chaos....um I mean fun!
I'm sure you know that anytime a pact is made, things go completely awry! With that being said, we did NOT have the same child....who visited the ER last year....visit Urgent Care on Monday....after he spent the morning throwing up in the bathroom and then again at home.
We then did not have our elementary school VBS director have to take her child to the ER for stitches in his chin and some special attention paid to his roadrash after flipping over his handlebars on his bike....NOT US!
The last two days of VBS were NOT spent with our AM and PM directors' oldest children becoming very ill with what we have now named....the VBS Virus....because it did NOT run rampant through our church last week.
In addition to all of this, we did NOT send a child home who literally about knocked his teeth out, a few who threw up, we did NOT treat a bee sting, splinter, a cut on the eye from a child's own glasses, many scrapes, lots of fevers, and have a near EPI Pen moment over a cashew.....whew....this was NOT the sickest week (and not in a good way) of VBS I have ever experienced.
I was NOT so relieved and a little proud when I realized that I was the only director who had NOT taken one of her children to the ER or Urgent Care and broken the VBS Director Pact....only to be awakened early Sunday morning to a 2 year old with 103 temp. Well FIDDLESTICKS!
Since it was Sunday and my pediatrician was not open, I did NOT take persaid little sick 2 year old to The Minute Clinic to have her checked out. While there, we did NOT see 2 fellow church members shopping around in the drugstore who looked pitifully at my sick lathargic little girl sitting on my lap and wished her a speedy recovery. While patiently waiting our turn to see the doctor, persaid 2 year old did NOT notice a mirror directly across from where she was lathargically sitting on my lap. She did NOT get down and begin to flip her hair around and pose when she realized there was piped in music and a mirror....HEAVEN HELP ME....you just can't pass up singing and dancing in a mirror to piped in music at your local drugstore....even if you are stricken with the VBS virus. Believe me, I know....although I wasn't stricken with the VBS Virus, I could NOT contain myself either....and I DID NOT begin to lip sync to "Dream Weaver" while holding a pretend microphone and doing some other well disguised dance moves....after all we were in a public place....and there were fellow church members there....I would NEVER act that way in public!
I did NOT get giddy with excitement each day during ending chapel to see Nathan, our children's pastor, get willingly "abused"....2 pies thrown in his face, wear a dress and wig all morning long, drink a bottle of Louisiana Hot Sauce....he's from Louisiana ya know and apparently the key to this is taking Prilosec before drinking the Hot Sauce and washing it down with several donut holes, just in case you ever want to try it.....NOT, and be slimed with chocolate sauce complete with whipped cream, sprinkles and a cherry on top. I do NOT love this man for falling privy to all of these obnoxious stunts just to encourage kids to bring the mission offering goal for that day....which they did above and beyond. I was NOT thrilled to see how much money these children brought to help the family in Africa that we are trying to reunite and to provide school supplies for local children whose parents are struggling financially. I did NOT feel a lump form in my throat, and I was NOT touched to hear how many children said they wanted that African family to be together again...
I was not a little bit envious of the fake fire, and fake fire sound effects, that the PM VBS group got to experience....since I am an AM director, and we did not have the fake fire and fake fire sound effects....Not At All.... but whatev :)....did I just say whatev? That is so NOT something our PM director would say.
Through all the sickness and injuries, and a few bits of drama, during our week of VBS....I did NOT have one of the best times ever....as I do every year. I did NOT personally witness the Holy Spirit all week long, and I do NOT absolutely love my church family and all of my fellow directors with all of my heart. I am NOT having second thoughts about resigning from said VBS Preschool Director post either, NOT I, okay maybe a little...okay maybe a lot!
For more NOT ME MONDAY therapy, visit MckMama's blog.