I Can Only Imagine

I went to a funeral today.....the funeral of an incredibly faithful man. Randy died this past Tuesday at the young age of 56. He had faith, like not many others, I have ever met. When Randy was 20, he fell off the roof of a house and was forever changed....he became paralyzed. His father said that when he was in the hospital, after the fall, he said...."If this is what it is....then this is what it is." From then on, he celebrated the day of the fall as his second birthday.....a rebirth into the "new normal". He was a true servant.....serving God and others, and he loved his family and friends. Every time I saw Randy at church or in the community, he was happy and chatty. Those who knew him best said he never complained....about his disability, about what happened, about the pain, about the over 50 surgeries he had endured, nothing.....he lived in His grip! He chose the joy God can provide over sorrow. As I sat there and listened to some of the words to the songs we sang, I couldn't help but think how whole Randy is....how much happier he is....how blessed he is. As I listened to "I Can Only Imagine", I thought about the words of that song and how true they are.....we can only imagine! One thing we do know is that we will be whole, happier, and as blessed as we have ever been....walking hand in hand with Jesus Our Savior!

I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk
By your side

I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When your face
Is before me
I can only imagine

I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in honour of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine

I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When that day comes
When I find myself
Standing in the Son

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever
Forever worship You
I can only imagine

I can only imagine

NICE EVENING!

I had a very nice evening out with some wonderful friends last night to celebrate my birthday....which was Dec. 26th! We ate good mexican food, visited, and I opened their very thoughtful gifts. Of course I don't NEED a thing, but I appreciate their generosity. It was a nice treat! I did miss a few friends due to illness or not being able to get a sitter. I really look forward to our gatherings.....not just because it's someone's birthday, but also because FRIENDS are a blessing! Cindy, my favorite female pastor, spoke once about how women need to be together; and I think that about sums it up!

FRIENDS....are a blessing!

Wait For It....Wait For It....Come On Already!

It's a brewin'......It's a comin'.....I feel the reveal of the calling getting closer! I'm trying to be patient and am continuing to pray, BUT honestly waiting is hard and a little boring if you ask me! I'm excited and nervous! So if you are ever right in the middle of your laundry, and I happen to pop into your head.....even if it's not in the middle of laundry.....would you pray for me and this calling that God is going to reveal very soon? Hint....hint....I guess I don't have to give Him hints, He already knows when He is going to reveal it.

Thanks! Appreciate you!

LOVE,

L

PHOTOS

Need some Valentine photos, well you've come to the right place....well actually the place you should be is behind my camera....but that will come later. Just uploaded some sweet photos of these two sweet siblings on the photography blog! My first clients, that I did not actually know, before their session; and it went really well. Besides the fact that 2 year old little brother chose not to take a nap that day and happened to be asleep in the car when they got there, all was great. It took him a little while to shake off the sleepies, but then he was a perfect little model. He did such a great job with the flowers. His sister, L, just a gorgeous little 6 year old with beautiful curly hair, big sparkly eyes and a beautiful smile. She was also the perfect client! What a blessing!

I'm Not Grumbling

Sometimes I find myself sitting in the carpool lane....grumbling under my breath, because yet another person has managed to finagle their way to the front of the line (or cut in line if you ask a 2nd grader).....okay oftentimes I find myself grumbling in the carpool lane. But this year is different. This year, I started the year off, grumbling as usual; and then I started to notice something.....a grandpa walking several blocks to pick up his kindergarten grandchild at 2:00 and then sitting and waiting for his 2nd grade grandchild to come out at 2:45, then walking with both of them several blocks home. I noticed a father, riding his bike, every day to pick up his son. Securely fastening his little kindergarten treasure onto the seat while he stood and pedaled the entire way home. I noticed a father walking, at least 3 miles each way, to pick up his kindergartner at 2:00 and then wait for his other 2 children to come out at 2:45. As I began to take note, I began to grumble less and less. As the weather got colder, I waited to see if any of these men had cars to transport their little ones in....I have to assume they didn't. As on the coldest days, I saw them walking and pedaling up to pick up their children and grandchildren. When it was so very cold, and I still saw them there walking as I sat in my heated car; my grumbling ceased. I have offered to bring one of the children home at 2:00, so the grandfather and kindergartner don't have to wait until 2:45 for the older sibling. I haven't heard back yet as to if he will accept the offer. At 2:00, I only have the twins, Elli and am picking up Bryna. At 2:45, I have the twins, Elli, Bryna and am picking up Drew and Cal; so I don't have room for anyone else....or I would offer to bring the 2nd grade grandchild home as well. I think God put them in my path, so I could see that the carpool lane is the least of my worries; and I should stop grumbling and be grateful for my car....even if that means waiting in long lines while people finagle their way to the front (or cut in line if you ask a 2nd grader). LOOK PAST THAT and be grateful is what He is telling me, so I will! Someday I won't be sitting in the carpool lane any longer, because my kids will be grown; and I know that I will wish I was still picking up my little ones.

Things I Love...

Elliot's dimples...

That feeling right before you drift off to sleep...

Taking photos...

Addi's freckles...

NPayne...

The smell of a just bathed baby...

Bryna's laugh...

Clean sheets...

Sunny days...

Drew's smile...

Hand Me Downs...

A photograph that tells a story...

Laughing...

Cal's eyes...

My girlfriends...

The Beach...

Dancing...

Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla...

Vintage linens...

Sweet Tea...

Other people's junk...

My bed...

COFFEE...

My mother...

My church...

My Savior...

LIFE....

Sunday Sermon Summary

Passage Luke 12:13-21:

The Story of the Greedy Farmer

¹³Someone out of the crowd said, "Teacher, order my brother to give me a fair share of the family inheritance."

¹⁴He replied, "Mister, what makes you think it's any of my business to be a judge or mediator for you?"

¹⁵Speaking to the people, he went on, "Take care! Protect yourself against the least bit of greed. Life is not defined by what you have, even when you have a lot."

^{16 -19}Then he told them this story: "The farm of a certain rich man produced a terrific crop. He talked to himself: 'What can I do? My barn isn't big enough for this harvest.' Then he said, 'Here's what I'll do: I'll tear down my barns and build bigger ones. Then I'll gather in all my grain and goods, and I'll say to myself, Self, you've done well! You've got it made and can now retire. Take it easy and have the time of your life!'

²⁰"Just then God showed up and said, 'Fool! Tonight you die. And your barnful of goods—who gets it?'

²¹"That's what happens when you fill your barn with Self and not with God."

When do you think you have enough? If we wait until we think we have enough, we will never respond to this question. I'ts not what you believe that counts, it's what you believe ENOUGH to do!

Toy Man and My Boy!

Once there was a really sweet kind man....he was 72 years old....he lived in my hometown. His name was Leslie, but most people knew him as "Toy Man". He walked everywhere he went, and he was always seen pulling some kind of small toy behind him. Toy Man was known to be friendly and always ready to share his toys with anyone who spoke to him or showed an interest. On January 11, 2010.....Toy Man was crossing one of our busiest roads....and was hit by a car. He died as a result from this accident, and many people in our community....ones who didn't know his "real" name....were saddened. Most are feeling the loss of the smile that was brought to their faces each time they saw him walking down the street pulling his toy of choice. Most are feeling the loss of seeing his smiling face. Toy Man's funeral will be tomorrow at my church. In his honor, a toy drive has been set up! What a sweet tribute to such a sweet soul! Although I never personally spoke to Toy Man, his life and his death have made a huge impact on me. When I think about him pulling his toys down the street, stopping to talk to whomever wanted to talk with him, offering to give his toys to anyone who was willing to take them, always smiling....I can imagine my own son, my Cal being "Toy Man" when he is 72 years old. I often find myself wondering what my son will be like as an adult. I find myself wondering that about my daughters as well, but I sort of just assume their adulthood will consist of college, love, marriage, babies, possibly careers....for a few....definite careers! For Cal, I honestly have no idea. When I saw Toy Man, I finally pictured what Cal may be like as an adult. Honestly it makes a whirlwind of emotions abound. Thinking about my son as an older man....with nobody left to look out for him....not being completely aware of possible dangers in life, is heartbreaking! On the other hand, thinking about my son as an older man....making so many smile....being such a sweet soul....sharing his most prized possessions with anyone who shows interest is heartfilling! What the future holds for Cal, only God knows; and I trust Him! To Toy Man,

If Cal brings as many smiles and happiness to people's every day lives as you did, I will be so very grateful! Rest In Peace! I know you are!

I've Been Feeling....

confused

excited

disappointed

curious

impatient

in touch

worried

sad

thrilled

fulfilled

empty

unsure

certain

What I do know that God will lead me....I just need to listen and accept where He takes me!

Happy Birthday NPAYNE!

To the love of my life....the man of my dreams....the father of my children....my best friend! Happy Birthday Sweet Man! Today is a milestone for you, you turn 40! There have been milestones that we have celebrated and some that we have grieved....today we are celebrating! I know your birthdays aren't a big deal to you, but they are to me. Celebrating your birthday is celebrating another year together. You bring out the best in me and for that I am so grateful. I LOVE YOU!
When I asked Neil if we could have a birthday party for him, since it is his 40th birthday....I knew he would say Nahhh! But I thought he might agree to having some friends over for dinner, but he still said Nahhhh! As I kept trying to encourage him to allow me to throw a celebration in his honor, this is what he finally said....."The Hole In Our Gospel"! I immediately knew what he was referring to, and I couldn't argue with him. In other words, he didn't want to be frivelous and spending the extra money to have a party, in his eyes was being frivelous! He said, "I just want to spend it with you and the kids!" I get all goose bumpy thinking about what a sweet wonderful man he is. I am a truly blessed woman!

I respect the fact that he wants me to stay home with our children while he works, and that he will sacrifice being happy at work in order to provide us with our needs.

I love the fact that he never comes home and asks me "What have you been doing all day?" when he sees toys all over the floor, laundry all over the couch, and dishes in the sink.

I admire the fact that he encourages me in areas that he sees me shine....hence the photography business.

I love the fact that he would rather do nothing more than be with us!

I respect the fact that he gives so much of himself in service to others!

I admire the fact that he is honest and trustworthy and the best friend anyone could ask for.

I love the fact that he loves me so much and tells me I look pretty all of the time.

I respect the fact that he has always been a hard worker and wonderful provider for his family....before me and our children, it was for his mother!

I admire the fact that he is grounded and thrifty.

I love the fact that He is growing in relationship with Christ.

I love the fact that we are a couple, a family, a union stronger than I had ever imagined when we first got married.

I adore you NPayne! You are the MAN OF MY DREAMS! And you still give me goose bumps and that funny excited feeling in my stomache!

Sunday Sermon and Something Big!

Our church is doing a study of Rich Stearns "The Hole in Our Gospel". I've read most of the book already as our SS class did the study in November. It was a life changing book for me....truly....it was. One member of church told me, before I read it, that it will make you question the kind of christian you are. HARSH but true! Rich, who heads up World Vision, reiterates how we are called to serve the poor! As I said.....it was life changing for me. I've always believed in serving the poor and serve as often as I can, BUT this is bigger....this is serving the poor at our back door, down the street, across the country, and across the world. With our church doing a church wide study of the book, Pastor Ken has been leading a sermon series that ties in to the book. Sunday he talked about how living in America was a blessing....not one he deserved or any of us "deserve" but we are blessed enough to live here....it's a gift. Then he told us about this website he found....www.globalrichlist.com. On this list you can see where you stand economically out of all of the 600 billion people in the world. He typed in the amount of $50,000, and it popped up that if you make $50,000/year; you are in the top 1% of the entire population. WOW! He then decided to see if he could find the amount that would put a person right in the middle....300 billion people above and 300 billion people below. Can you guess what that amount of yearly income was? Any guesses? The guess I had in my head was somewhere around $8,000. I was way off. The yearly income... that would put you in the 50th % of our world's population....are you ready for this....was $850. Yes that's $850/year! Can you imagine providing your family's needs on $850/year....$70.83 per month. Food, clothing, shelter, water....for $70.83 per month. There are approximately 300 billion people in our world living on $70 or less per month. WOW! Talk about eye opening and life changing. I can tell you that where we live....we could not feed, clothe, shelter and water our family of 7 for $70.83/month. We could provide some of those needs but not all of them....and wants....well those would be non existent. So imagine....if you will....half of the world's families, parents, children, babies aren't getting their needs met much less their wants.....their needs then become their wants. It's hard to imagine that....it's hard to wrap my brain around that....it's hard for my children to imagine that! Nobody wants their children to do without....it's just that in our culture when we talk about doing without, we are oftentimes referring to doing without eating out, video games, cars, expensive clothes, and much more. We are not usually referring to food, water, a roof over our heads, or any sort of clothing. Now don't get me wrong, I know for a fact and have witnessed right in my neighborhood, families whose wants are their needs....families who do without many of their necessities. Every since last year when Pastor Ken led a sermon about providing clean water to the entire population for $10 billion while we as Americans spend approximately $450 billion on just Christmas, I have been feeling a calling to do something. I kept thinking....I'm just one person, what can I do? Then I read the book, and I knew without a doubt that that's where I am being called.....as I mentioned in a post before.....something big is brewing in my life. I am not sure what, and I don't have all the details. but I feel it nudging my heart. I've been praying and on my knees anytime I think about it which has been LOTS....I've been asking God to reveal it to me, to guide me, to let me serve Him by serving them. I've been asking God to allow me to be part of it....whatever "it" is. I've been praying and listening in fear that I would miss the calling. I still don't know all the details, but I know it's BIG; and I know that I get excited, nervous, anxious, giddy, and emotional thinking about it. I know that God knew I needed to read that book....to motivate me, to make me listen, to help me realize that I'm being called to do something.....and that YES just one person can do something. If you haven't read the book, READ IT, maybe it will change your life too.

HIT Hard!

So I'm 43 years old now and decided to have a physical....probably the first real physical I've ever had. Now don't you fret over my health, I see my gynecologist every year for my yearly exam....I get mammograms; but a physical....a real, true physical.....well.....there's a first time for everything. Anyway I have rheumatoid arthritis and have been having more and more problems with it, including extreme fatigue, so I decided I needed to start a true regimented exercise routine. I've also been feeling WEIRD every since Elliot was born....not WEIRD like "I don't fit in" or "Supernatural" but feeling more like I have Vertigo....the room spins, I often find myself feeling like I'm living in a dream....on the outside looking in....anyway just WEIRD! With the decision of starting a regimented exercise routine, I also decided that I should have a physical to make sure my aches and pains were just from arthritis and nothing else; so I went.....on Christmas Eve....I went and had a physical. When I say a physical.....I mean it was thorough....EKG, Bone Density Test, Blood Draw, Urine Specimen, Xrays, and Tons of Questions. I left there feeling pretty good about everything....except a little concern about the often unbearable back pain I have....hoping it was nothing more serious than RA! This past Thursday I went back for.....THE RESULTS! As I'm sitting there waiting for the doctor, I'm planning my next move....appointment with the Rheumatologist, yearly appointment with my gynecologist, appointment to get my mammogram, appointment to have a massage....well that's not really necessary, but it sure would be nice. Anyway in comes Dr. Smith....yes that's really her name....no incognito here! Anyhoo in she comes....we chat briefly....she's really sweet and very personable, and then she gets out the stack of paper....which are printed copies of THE RESULTS! She begins by telling me my bones are super strong and healthy....like truly SUPER bones....whew....sigh of relief! Then she says all my white and red blood counts were normal with no signs of lymphoma or leukemia....whew....sigh of relief! Then she says I do have one vertebrae which is out of whack but nothing that exercise shouldn't be able to correct....whew....sigh of relief! By now, I'm feeling pretty darn good about this whole physical thing UNTIL I hear the following: Your blood sugars are really high and your cholesterol is high....we'll start by adjusting your diet and getting you on an exercise program....if there's no improvement after 3 months....we'll need to start medication.....I want to keep you from having a heart attack.....WHOA NELLIE....you just about gave me a heart attack with that information! Then she says....and when you see the Rheumatologist, make sure you tell her you're borderline diabetic.....WHOA NELLIE.....I'm what? Seriously....I have never had a problem with cholesterol or blood sugars, and I am a very healthy eater....now I'll have to admit that exercise....just don't make time for it. After I catch my breath and give me second urine specimen, because the original one showed signs of protein in my urine, I realize that I've been hit hard here. I am going to have to really get this under control....I'm only 43! Help Me Henry!!! I haven't officially started researching diet options yet, but NPayne has. He tells me last night while we're at dinner what I need to start incorporating in my diet....PROTEIN. I defend my self by saying....I eat a lot of peanut butter, and he gently gives me the nod of encouragement and says....I know, but you are going to have to eat more meat products. EEEWWWWWW!!! I'm thinking surely there's a vitamin out there somewhere to solve this protein deficiency I'm facing. Then I had to admit to him that I had read some of the labels of things I basically live on....yogurt, cereal, bread, cheese, tortillas, granola, fresh fruit (okay so I didn't look on any label for fruit, but I know this to be true from when I did Weight Watchers)....and yes they are loaded with SUGAR! Hence the beginning of my low fat, low sugar, low carb, full or protein existence. Now I know it's not the end of the world, it's just one more thing I have to keep track of....but it's something I do HAVE TO KEEP TRACK OF! But I'll do it....dragging my feet with a tantrum here or there.....I'll do it. Honestly I'm thankful to have this information now, so as to avoid the full blown diabetes or heart attack; so as I left the doctor's office.....I found myself praying....I found myself thanking God for nudging me to get the first ever physical I've ever had. I will tell you that the day that Dr. Smith tells me NO MORE COFFEE....someone is going to get hurt! ;)

Things I've Been Saying To My Children....

Are you wearing underwear?

Did you push her in the mud?

I'm so sorry to hear that!

Did you have an accident?

Was it an accident?

I'm sure it was an accident.

It doesn't matter whose mess it is, I asked you to pick it up.

Ask her nicely.

You HAVE to have a bath.

No you may not!

Yes you may!

Not until your room is picked up.

Have a blessed day.

You're fabulous!

You make my heart smile.

I love you too!

I love you!

Good morning!

Good night!

We're LIVE!

WWW.LORIEPAYNEPHOTOGRAPHY.COM

MORE ON RULES

If you know anything about me or have read my blog in the past, you may know that I am a rule follower....always have been, always will be! I think it all stems back to that first child/only child syndrome of always wanting to please everyone, but who knows. What I do know is that I have learned that rules, from time to time, can be bent or may be broken without any real harm being done.....GASP! I can't believe I just said that....well actually I didn't say it, I typed it! As I've gotten older and learned to live with my husband of nearly 18 years and my 5 sweet babes, I've learned that we don't need rules for everything; and honestly.....don't want them. I wrote a post recently about our family rules, and they were explained pretty plain and simple. Honestly those are the main rules we follow....BE KIND and BE HONEST. I've found if you follow those 2 rules in The House of Payne, your life will be pretty stinkin' SWEET!

HOWEVER, because I am a rule follower by nature and just can't seem to help myself; I do have some other quirky rules that I still follow and will ask my children to follow as well....mainly out of respect, consideration, common sense, (or because I'm neurotic) however you want to look at it. Here they are:

1. Do not walk through someone's yard or grass when there is a sidewalk available....RUDE!

2. Please wait until one is finished with one's conversation before chiming in with another conversation....In other words, no interrupting....RUDE!

3. You may not take food into the bathroom.....GROSS!

4. You must knock on the bathroom or bedroom door and wait for an invitation before entering....some of the tennants in my household are still practicing this rule! They may have the knocking part down, but it's the waiting for the invitation part they don't seem to have hold of yet. Again....RUDE and possibly GROSS!

5. Do not come into the bathroom while persaid person (me) is showering, bathing, brushing teeth, etc. and proceed to relieve yourself....EXTREMELY GROSS!

6. Make phone calls at appropriate times of the day.....BEING RESPECTFUL and CONSIDERATE! Friends of my sweet Addi....this could apply to you!

7. Do not honk for someone you are picking up....RUDE, but please go to the door and get them....CONSIDERATE! To the neighbor across the street that I do not know, this rules applies to you as well. Make that guy come and get you and stop honking....RUDE!

8. Put your dishes away....CONSIDERATE!

9. Do not throw food in any trash can except the one in the kitchen....GROSS!

10. When someone asks you to stop doing something, go ahead and STOP immediately not after they have asked you a gazillion times!!!!!

That's just a few.....believe me, I probably have many more; but these are the rules that came to mind.....because well....I have had to remind myself or one of my children about these rules of respect, consideration, and common sense lately....ahem.

Guidance

I've been praying for guidance a lot lately....and just when I start to see the light at the end of the tunnel and perhaps an answer to my prayer....something else comes along that I feel I have no control over. Maybe that is the problem....I want to be in control, but I'm not. Honestly though the circumstances that I've been struggling with are circumstances that are easy for me to control....changes I can make or should have made, but I just can't seem to grasp the change. They are circumstances which are causing myself or someone I love to be unhappy or confused or just plain irritated. Oddly enough the circumstance that I feel I have the littlest control or no control over is the one where I feel like my prayer for guidance has been answered, and I feel I've been given direction. So I'll continue to pray for guidance and continue to work on relinquishing control my way and pray for God to take control. I know He will if I'll just let Him.

TELEVISION

So I'm trying to explain the premise of "The Bachelor" to some friends....yes I've seen "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette", and I've decided that TV can be frightening. It doesn't have to be, but it sure can be; and WE are what make it potentially frightening....the viewers! Because the more smut we watch, the more smut they make! As these ladies are asking me all sorts of questions about this show, and I'm filling them in.....I'm realizing that there is a lot of smut on TV! LOTS! Now although I enjoy TV, honestly I would be perfectly fine if we didn't have one or didn't watch one. I've been thinking that maybe, just maybe, I shouldn't watch anything which I would deem inappropriate for my children....which would be most anything on after 7:00 pm except maybe a few sporting events and some, but not all, cartoons! I don't know....are there any appropriate shows on regular TV after 7:00? I know there are some decorating, cooking type shows that we have available on cable; but what about folks who don't have cable? Is there anything that a family can sit down to watch together on any random night.....say a Tuesday.....after 7:00? I'm just curious! Typically my children are busy getting ready for bed around 7:00 during the week, and they aren't watching TV. But if I wanted to sit down and watch something with them on any random night.....say a Tuesday.....after 7:00, what would that be? Suggestions???

One Year Ago Today

My sweet friend lost her baby boy in childbirth.

My sweet friend nearly lost her life.

My sweet friend's husband had a birthday on the same day as his son....the son that would never breathe a breath on earth.

My sweet friend's life was changed forever.

My sweet friends and I waited anxioulsy and nervously in the hospital.

One Year Ago Today....

It was all up in the air....It was all in God's hands....We were all helpless but hopeful!

One Year Ago Today....There were many prayers.....People on their knees....Sobbing and Embracing!

One Year Later....TODAY....She is feeling bittersweet! Bitter about the loss of her son! Sweet about the birthday of her amazing husband! Really Sweet about the second chance at life!

For many things I am grateful.....today it's for the life of Leslie!

Roses and Thorns

My family is quite blessed in the fact that we are able to have supper together many times during the week. I know with busy lives, that can be hard to do. One thing we do at supper, whether it's at home or out somewhere, is share roses and thorns. We always start with Elli....she will then share her rose, she never has a thorn (she's 3....her life is full of roses); and then she chooses who will go next. Everyone must share a rose, because even on the worst days....we all have something to be thankful for. You don't have to have a thorn, because many days are thorn free :)! In my Christmas card this year, I enclosed a list of roses and thorns from the year past; and I've been told that many are now adopting that tradition for their own supper table :) !

Yesterday I went to the preschool, which happens to be in our church, where I have worked (taking time off when I had babies) for approximately 11 years. We were having an inservice training, a grandma shower for one of the directors, and some time to get our rooms ready for our sweet little ones to return. I LOVE that school with all my heart, and a large part of that is due to the fabulous ladies that I work with and for. I truly could NOT ask for a better job. The director of the school, Evelyn, is one of the kindest and Godliest women I have ever met. I adore her....as does everyone who works for her. I remember when I interviewed for the job, so many years ago, that she told me her motto: God First, Family Second, Job Third! I LOVE that. Evelyn has been the director of our beloved preschool for over 30 years. All 5 of my children have or are still going to this school. I truly cannot express how much I love CLC (Creative Learning Center), and how much I love that it is in our church and works closely with our pastors....it's a true blessing! The day we got out of school for Christmas break, we received an email from LuAnn who is the Assistant Director. It explained that Evelyn had been diagnosed with breast cancer....gasp....deep breath....tears! Over the holiday break, she had bone scans, MRI's, CAT scans, etc. to check for more cancer....and there was....gasp....deep breath....tears! While we were there yesterday, Evelyn explained everything that had happen and everything that was yet to come....the mastectomy, the reconstruction, the chemo, the radiation, the hair loss, etc. As she spoke, it was quiet as we absorbed. Then there were some tears, lots of questions, hugs, prepartion of meals for her and her husband, the prayer garland that we are starting and much more. As the conversation about the dreaded CANCER came to a close, Evelyn looked my way and said.....through all of this, there are always roses! She's right, there is a rose to be found....even amidst the thorn....there's roses! Pray for Evelyn!

I've Been Wondering.....

Where are Max and Ruby's parents?

Why doesn't Caillou get in trouble for whining?

Why is Elli scared to death of Jack Black but not bothered one bit by that crazy looking guy with the orange hat on Yo Gabba Gabba?

What happened to The Big Comfy Couch?

Can your husband imitate Sir Top 'Em Hat as well as NPayne?

Who ever heard of a purple dinosaur?

Does anyone else think Arthur and DW argue entirely too much?

Who loved Zoom?

Is it odd that the characters on Sesame Street are monsters?

What's your favorite "kid" show past or present?

I always LOVED Johnny Bravo....still do, The Bugaloos, and that one about the tree house with Doug and Emmy Jo. Now days I like Wonder Pets quite a bit....love Ming Ming!

Resolution Smesolution!

Do you have New Years Resolutions? I use to do that, and then I decided not to participate any longer; because I could never keep the promise to myself for an entire year. I like Lent much better....I am much more likely to keep a promise for 40 days not including weekends, so I'll stick with that!

I Can't Believe....

Goodnight Nurse....where has the time gone?
I can't believe our Christmas break is almost over, and I can't believe I have fallen so far behind on blogging. I can't believe that I am now 43 years and 1 week old, I can't believe how long this website is taking me to build. I can't believe how much I already miss my 4 big kids when they haven't even gone back to school yet. I can't believe all of my children slept late every single day of break, and I can't believe how much I am DREADING getting up early again. I can't believe it snowed, not once but twice, during our Christmas break; and I can't believe how cold it has been. I can't believe that I am almost finally finished organizing the piles of photos, notes, schoolwork, etc. that has been accumulating on my desk; and I can't believe how much I threw away. I can't believe that I cried AGAIN when I read, for the umpteenth time, the sweet letters that Addi received at her confirmation last spring. I can't believe how messy my closet has gotten, and I can't believe that my shop is even messier. I can't believe that 2 of my daughters got their ears pierced, and I can't believe they went ahead with it after my speech on how I thought they were wasting their money. I can't believe that Cal loved Christmas as much as he did this year, and I can't believe that he loves his new bike. I can't believe NPayne bought me a Mac Book for my bday, and I can't believe that I still haven't figured out how to use it yet. I can't believe how ready for summer I am, and I can't believe I just said that....because I can't stand being hot. I can't believe how much fun the sledding hill at Six Flags is, and I can't believe that everyone in my family loved riding it. I can't believe that Cal went to the movies with us, since he hasn't gone since my dad use to take him....4+years ago. I can't believe I cried AGAIN when I found my dad's death certificate today, and I can't believe how much my heart ached after 4 years. I can't believe that my mom sends us and I LOVE YOU email every single night. I can't believe how much I love my family.....actually I can believe that, but sometimes I still can't believe that I'm the MOTHER in the house! I can't believe that sometimes I look around and think to myself....I'm the one in charge here, and I can't believe that I am! I can't believe how God has blessed me by placing such special people in my life. BUT I CAN BELIEVE.....that I can never express how grateful I am to Him, but I'll keep trying!