That Was A Big One...

Tonight was the first time, in a looooooong time, that I can remember really watching and enjoying watching fireworks....and yes it's the 4th of July!!! Every since Callahan was two, he has been horrified of fireworks. We took our children (3 of them at the time) to watch fireworks....when Callahan was two....and we made the mistake of parking right by the launching pad of the fireworks. We had no idea the launching pad was so close, and we had no idea that it was going to be so earth shatteringly loud. We were at the lake, that we just returned from visiting this morning, with our friends; and they were in charge of the fireworks show. The first few threw Cal into such a panicked frenzy, that we just packed up our car with our then 3 children in tow and drove 1 1/2 hours home. We never even had the chance to bid our friends, Leslie and Jeff, goodbye that night....because we left so abruptly, and they were on the dock shooting off fireworks. Of course we explained it later, and of course they understood. From that moment on, Cal has been terrified of fireworks....I mean TERRIFIED. He has gone with us in the past to watch them, because he has asked to; but he sits in the car with the radio turned up....so he can't hear them. He usually just sits there anxiously waiting for the torture to be over with a nervous and scared look on his face. It is not enjoyable, as his mother, to watch my boy sit in the car each year with that nervous look on his face. For a few years he didn't go at all, then he started asking to go...but sitting in the car. If we know the fireworks are going to be really loud....one of us plans to stay home with him and he doesn't get the opportunity to ask to go....like last night at the same lake where he first became terrified. The girls and I went and watched fireworks with our friends while Cal and his daddy stayed at our lakeside cabin piddling around. Then there were the fireworks tonight....the ones that NPayne takes the kids to every year. I usually stay home, because in the past we always have had a little one that was just too pooped to make it. This year I didn't have anyone too pooped to stay home with me, but I told Cal I would stay home with him; and he replied with...."Can I go watch the fireworks?" The fireworkds that we always watch on July 4th are not loud in the least, and although I really didn't want to go and watch my boy sit in the car; I agreed that we could all go. After all, we were going to sit in some friends' driveway....who are out of town...and we happen to have the key to their house; since we are taking care of their dog. So I knew if nothing else, he could go in the house rather than sit in the car. Much to my surprise when we arrived....Cal plopped himself down right on the driveway next to me and his sisters. He didn't look nervous....he didn't act nervous....he didn't ask me over and over and over if we were going to watch the fireworks in a nervous voice.....hmmmm! Then it happened, some kids a few doors down started setting off fireworks in the street right by where we were sitting....still Cal remained calm until the LOUD one went off....then he inched hurriedly back to me with his hands covering his ears; but he never ran for the car. He snuggled right up to me and leaned on me hard with his hands still clinched over his ears. At that moment, the city's fireworks display began; and he sat there and sat there and sat there. After a few moments, he started saying..."That was a big one. And another big one. And another!" I know I was smiling so big but trying not to make a big deal out of the fact that he was sitting on a driveway watching fireworks.....hands clinched over his ears nontheless....but not sitting in the car! NPayne came over and patted him a few times to reassure him, and Cal would say...."That was a big one. And another big one. And another!" Then he slowly removed the hand from his ear that was leaning hard on me, and he said..."Mommy, I like watching the fireworks!" Again a big smile came across my face along with a little tear. I continued to pat his leg and hold his hand that was now free from covering his ear while he continued to say...."That was a big one. And another big one. And another. Mommy, I like watching the fireworks!" Then Addi scooted over and leaned in close to him, so he would know we were both there for him and we were both proud of him. As the fireworks continued and neared the grand finale, he looked at me with one hand in mine and one hand still clinched over his ear, and said..."Mommy, did I like watching the fireworks?" I hugged him tight and said...."Yes....Yes you did!"