A Side Note and A Revelation!

In my previous post, I posted a copy of our Christmas card and Christmas letter. In the note about the Christmas letter, I stated that I never wrote letters until about 5 years ago; because I didn't think I had a lot to share. Well....as of this morning, I came to a true realization about the whole Christmas letter thing....after I received a comment from another mom who also has a child with Fragile X. I realized that I think I felt exactly as she did....I really didn't know what to say about my boy, my sweet precious son.....the one who most people didn't understand....the one who was still wearing diapers....the one who didn't have any friends....the one who threw tantrums often and many times without warning....the one who I loved with all my heart but still didn't understand myself. Then one Christmas about 5 years ago, I decided to write the letter....and I would explain as best as I could about my prince....and I did. I remember that first letter....I had no trouble writing about Addi, or Drew or even Bryna (who was only about 3 months old) and once I started writing about Cal....I had no trouble writing about him either. His hobbies, accomplishments and life in general was very different than theirs; but their lives (as well as NPayne's and mine) encompassed and included him and always had. I remember starting the "Cal" section of the letter with the following...."As most of you know Cal has been diagnosed with Fragile X and Autism..." then I continued with all the gushing about his hobbies, interests and accomplishments. I just needed to let that be known up front, because although many people knew he was a "special needs" child; they had no idea what that meant. It was amazing and refreshing at how many people, who read that letter, just outright asked me questions about him....What is Fragile X? What is Autism? I've always always always been a believer in being completely upfront with people about Cal. I use to get so irritated and sometimes still do when people would make rude comments (and they did) about my boy, so from early in his diagnosis....I started laying it on the line with folks....even folks I didn't know, but if they were commenting or staring....I would lay it out there. I remember going to hear a music therapist speak once, and she mentioned how this family she knew use to carry around business type of cards that said something like....I can tell that you're wondering why my child is behaving like this....My child has autism....then it gave a general definition of autism....described some behaviors their child might exhibit....then it gave a website where people could make a donation. This family would just hand that card to people who stared or made inappropriate comments about their child while they were in public. Although I never did that, I remember many many times wishing that I could just hand some stranger a card like that when they were staring or making rude and hurtful comments. When I wrote that first Christmas letter 5 years ago, I sent it to my family and friends (some who already knew about Cal's diagnosis and some who didn't); but it was sent to people who mattered to me and my family. People who knew us and loved us. As for other people, if they comment or stare; I still don't have a problem laying it out there for them....but fortunately I don't have to as often.