Sunday Sermon Summary.....My Testimony!

I have to fess up....I didn't go to church today. Honestly I never miss church....I would say maybe 2 times per year.....honest....I'm not sure why I'm trying to convince you, when He knows and that's who counts! If I do miss, it's usually due to vacation or a mother/daughter campout or something like that; and I always worship....ALWAYS! So....since I didn't attend church today....by the way....we didn't wake up until 10:00, and I've been having horrible bouts with my RA (that makes me sound really old)....I know I know that's not a good excuse (but it's the excuse I'm offering up); so in lieu of a Sunday Sermon Summary....I am going to share some other things! I have already worshipped some this morning and will continue throughout my day, but I thought writing this post would be part of my worship....it's sort of like my testimony. Who knew??? I have a testimony.
When I was a little girl, I never went to church with my parents unless my grandparents...mamaw and papaw (my mom's parents) were visiting; then we went and pretended like we went every week. Although I'm certain mamaw and papaw knew otherwise...they played along. I think they were glad we were, at least there on that particular Sunday, and glad that my parents tried to honor them by "pretending." Does that seem weird? Anyhoo...as I said, I NEVER attended church regularly with my parents. There's a long story here, and I'll try to summarize....my mom quit attending church when she moved out of my grandparents' house, because she felt like she was being condemned for everything (which she probably was). My dad didn't attend, because my mom didn't attend....it was that simple for him. They both grew up attending church every week, more than once per week, and they both grew up attending different denominations. When I did attend church with my parents, which was when my grandparents visited or when we visited them, we went to the church denomination my mother grew up attending. My grandparents, mainly my mamaw, was the most influential and purposeful person in my childhood and young adult life in bringing me to Christ (I posted about this previously). Although I NEVER regularly attended church with my parents, I longed to go. I would often ask my mom to take me, but it was not a successful request. We were truly CEO christians....Christmas and Easter only! Don't misunderstand....my parents still believed in the good book and all it said, but they just didn't believe in attending church. This was mainly because they never found a church where they could grow spiritually, but they never looked. I think my mom still had a "bad taste" in her mouth from things that had happened while she was attending church growing up, and she still held a grudge....that's all changed now (another post waiting to happen). When I was about 8 years old, I spent the night with a very dear friend of mine Tara (love you girl). She asked me, before I went over, if I wanted to go to church with her on Sunday; and I excitedly and immediately said "YES!" I told my mother, and she asked me which church, etc. to make sure she was in agreement...and it happened to be the church we attended when my grandparents were here; so she agreed....that is funny to me now (not ha ha but peculiar) ....only allowing me to attend the church that she so desperately tried to escape. What I didn't realize, when I spent the night with Tara, was that we wouldn't be going to church with her family; but that we would be going alone....well sort of. There was a church bus that would come to her house and pick her up each Sunday morning. Can you believe this? A church bus? Isn't that cool? The church bus picked us up, and we rode with a ton of other kids....we happily bounced up and down in the seat singing kidlike hymns...."The B-I-B-L-E", "Father Abraham", etc. all the way to church. It was pure bliss for me. When we got to church, we got to attend not only church but also Sunday School. I was thrilled and absolutely loved it. Can you imagine two little 8 year old girls sitting in the back of a HUGE sanctuary worshipping together? Actually I think we colored a lot, but nonetheless....we were DRIVEN and excited to be there. As time passed, the church bus started coming to my house to pick me up; because well....I couldn't spend every single Saturday night with Tara. I began to attend church regularly and continued for several years. Honestly I don't remember why the church bus stopped coming, but it did. Then I didn't go again for a while....until I could drive. I would usually attend Wednesday evening service; because that's when all the youth kids attended. I had heard about my friends all going to church camp and being involved in the youth programs, and I so longed to do that; but I never had that opportunity. I felt like an outcast when I did go to church, because I didn't do these things; and because I came alone.....so eventually I stopped attending all together. As I grew into late teenage years, I would occasionally attend church with friends and always with my grandparents; but I stopped going on my own. I couldn't find a place where I felt like I belonged. I had discovered that even when I went to church, I didn't leave there feeling like I was growing. I was leaving there feeling guilty and condemned. When I was 15, I was baptized...by my own choice and desire. Although I knew the importance of taking that step, I didn't feel any different like I thought I would. I think I expected angels to sing and the heavens to open up....I think I thought I would feel the Lord enter into my heart, but I didn't (sidenote, I had never heard about the Holy Spirit or the Trinity at this point in my life). When I was 16, I pledged to read the entire Bible and even got The Bible on tape (yes on tape....that was a long time ago). I failed miserably, because it was all King James version; and honestly I couldn't understand half of it. I didn't belong to any sort of community or church family, and I had an empty place in my heart. I always felt guilty about EVERYTHING which is still a big struggle for me today....and I discovered as I became an adult that this was due partly to the way of teaching in the church I had grown up attending and partly due to my own insecurities. Then I met NPayne. He too hadn't attended church since he was a little boy. As a matter of fact, he had NEVER attended church with his mother.....NEVER not even "pretending" for the sake of his grandmother. His grandmother was actually the one who took him as a child while his mother always worked. We got married, and it was bittersweet for me. I had always dreamed of my papaw performing the service, since he was a judge and was largely the reason I loved the Lord; and I had wanted to be married in a "church" type of atmosphere. My papaw had passed away a few years earlier, and NPayne and I didn't belong to a church. We met a young man (Donny), who was in seminary at the time, and decided that he would be perfect to officiate our wedding. After several meetings and discussions of our faith with Donny, we ended up getting married in a chapel; and it was good. After Addi was born, NPayne and I decided to start really looking for a church. We both knew that we wanted to find a church that suited us as a family, so we began to visit several different churches. The day we visited our church, that we have attended for the last 12 years, Pastor Cindy was preaching....I have also blogged about her in the past....she's FABULOUS! I immediately fell in love with her and so did NPayne. We left the service, and I felt something stirring in my heart but also felt very confused. I had grown up in a church where there were NO women clergy, there was NO instrumental music. I didn't know what to do....but I knew I wanted to go back. We continued to attend this church, and although Cindy didn't preach every Sunday; I knew she was preaching that first Sunday for a very specific reason....to get us to come back. We met with Cindy, and I would often e-mail her or call her or meet with her, and ask her questions about this church; because I didn't understand a lot of what was going on...I had never practiced the season of Advent or Lent. I didn't know about the Holy Spirit. She walked and talked me through, backing it up with scripture, when she could. We decided to join our church in November of that year 1997. We joined in a private way instead of coming up to the front of the church, and on the night that we joined.....NPayne was baptized by Cindy....nothing more perfect! We had Addi baptized a few days later....she was about 8 months old. We have attended this particular church every since, and we have had all 5 of our babies baptized; and this year Addi will be confirmed. Baptizing babies and confirmation were definitely things I didn't understand or agree with at first, but I understand why our church participates in these practices now; and both of these practices are completely optional. I know our church isn't perfect, because it's not. As a matter of fact there have been a lot of struggles within our church in the past (that's another post). I know there are some things I still don't understand about our church, and I know there are some things that I still don't agree with; but the most important thing is that we are being FED there. We are growing our relationship with Christ in this church and with the support of our pastors and our church family. We have met some of the most wonderful and inspiring people we will ever meet at this church who have enriched and changed my life forever. My children all attend/attended preschool there. I work there. My girls have done Kindermusik there. It's definitely our second home or maybe our first....in the spirit of the Savior. I know a denomination doesn't make a Christian, but I also know (from experience)that it can hinder your growth as a Christian. You have to feel fed and be able to grow in Christ. You have to be able to love your Lord without "church" things hindering that. I know that your parents don't make you Christian, but I also know that their leading by example is a definite plus. As parents we have a responsibility to do the introduction....if you will....to encourage our children in the ways of the Lord. We have a responsibility to take them to worship and teach them about Jesus and pray for and with them, and to teach them about serving and helping others....then we pray that they will build their own relationship with our Christ, serve Him by bringing glory to His name and ultimately fall in love with Him. This is not the end of my testimony but only the beginning....I am growing each day, each minute, each second; and I will share more at a later date.....and believe me, there's plenty to be shared!
Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old; he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6.