Me and My Mom

My dad passed away 3 years ago in November. I am an only child, so it is just me and my mom. My mom is disabled....she has an Auto Immune disease and has no use of her legs and limited use of her hands. In other words, she can't walk or stand alone; but she can grab onto something to help her get from chair to scooter, etc. She is very independent and wants to live alone....no assisted living or retirement place for her. We planned on adding on to our house, for her to live with us but in her own space, but that didn't work out with our city council; since our house is historical. She really doesn't want to live IN our house with us, because she likes having her own space; plus she is a smoker which won't jive in our abode. So she lives alone about 15 minutes from me and my family....and although that is closer than she did live up until this past summer....I wish she was closer. I am not able to do as much for her as I wish I could be doing, and I have rarely had time to go over and just visit. When I do run over to her house, it's usually to take her something she needs or to help her because she has fallen. My children love their grandmother....they call her Moo, and she adores them. She loves for them to come over and see her and even spend the night. She loves NPayne and I with all her heart too. I know my mom would really like to go to church, and I would really like to take her; but it's just not feasable. We go to church at 9:00 and then to Sunday School at 10:10 and then back to church for children's time at 11:15....we would have to go pick her up about 8:00 (to get her dressed and into the car and to church and out of the car), and she wouldn't get home until about 12:15 which is too long for her to sit in her wheelchair and too long to not be able to use a bathroom. I know my mom worships on her own in her home, but I am a firm believer in being part of a body of Christ....a church or community or group of people or whatever whom help each other, support each other and encourage each other to grow in Christ. With that being said..... I am really excited about this brilliant idea that Npayne had, one that we are definitely going to have to check into....there are some government houses, which are reserved for elderly people with lower incomes and whom need assistance, and the best part is they are right next door to our church. And did I mention that our church is literally less than a mile from our house? I mean we could and have walked to church. I think the wait list is fairly long for one of these quaint homes, and it may be longer for a handicapped accessible house; but I am going to get her on that list. We went Christmas carolling at these homes, and I have delivered some plants there previously; and they are great little houses. There's a small office type of house at the front of the subdivision, and Rev. Rick, one of our associate pastors, goes over on Fridays and sings songs (he plays guitar and sings brilliantly)and plays games with the folks who live there as well. If my mom lived there, not only would she be able to attend church, because she could take her electric scooter and go and come whenever she was ready; but also we could literally walk to her house if we wanted to. It would allow so much more freedom for her and time for us. I think this is the perfect plan.....now I just have to get into action and see about making it work. My children, NPayne and I would be thrilled if this worked out....and I think my mom would too.

Now onto another part of this post....I'm extremely happy that Moo wants to attend church with our family....as a child,my parents and I rarely attended church together. My mother is a free spirit, unreserved and strongly opinionated. She grew up in a very small town, where everyone literally knew everyone, and my grandparents were very well known and respected folks. She told me once that she and my uncle....maybe my aunt....stopped attending their parents' church (when they were old enough to have a say), because they felt condemned and used as "bad" examples in some of the sermons. I can't imagine how humiliating that must have been for them and for my grandparents.....using them as a "bad example" in a sermon and pointing it out in such a way that the congregation knew exactly to whom the preacher was referring. The church, that they belonged to, didn't believe in a lot of things that my mom (and probably her siblings) thought were perfectly acceptable.....one of those things being dancing. My mom loved to dance when she was able, and she loved to dance with my dad (also not supported by their church.....dancing too close to someone of the opposite sex). As a matter of fact....dancing was outlawed in their small town....I am 100% serious. You know the movie Footloose (if you don't, find it and watch it), it's based on the town where my parents grew up....again 100% serious! Being the independent and strong willed young woman that she was....she danced anyway! After she was used as a "bad"example in her church, she got a really bad taste in her mouth and just stopped going plus she just didn't agree with a lot of their teachings. I think she and my dad didn't know where to look for a "new" church home once they were married....they both worked a lot and honestly it just wasn't a priority to them. It wasn't that they didn't believe in and love Jesus, they just didn't pursue a community to worship Him and worship Him with other believers. Just to clarify.....this is my perception....from growing up with them and from things mom told me. I also think (again my perception) that my mom was a little afraid that her parents would rather be lead to believe that she and my dad were attending the type of church she grew up attending than them knowing that my parents may attend an altogether different type of church. Was that confusing? Anyhoo I remember my mother being so worried about what my grandmother would think when she came here for Christmas, and we attended the church that NPayne and I belonged to which is quite different than the church my grandmother attended. My mom was so worried that my grandmother wouldn't go or would be so very upset, but she did go; and she enjoyed it. It wasn't her church of choice, but I believe that she was praising God that we were regularly attending church and pursuing a relationship with Jesus. A church home is vital, in my opinion, but there is no perfect church....there's just not! I think you find a place where you can grow your relationships with Christ and praise Him. When NPayne and I started attending church regulary, I remember one Christmas my mom asking me if I was going to take Addi to see Santa. I told her probably not, there just wasn't time to do it. I so vividly remember her comment as being...."You spend too much time at church". I paused to try to think of a response, and then I told her that God came first in our family; and that we wanted our children to know that and know that Christmas isn't about Santa. Shortly thereafter, by invitation....she and my dad started coming to our church, on holidays and when one of our children was singing or reading scripture or whatever; and I think (my perception here) that they started to feel what it was like to worship....in a love Jesus, accept His grace & love & mercy, have eternal life kinda way. They really enjoyed coming to church, and I know if my dad was still alive; they would be coming much more often. I think about what my mom would say now if she asked me if I was taking the children to see Santa, and I told her NO I wasn't....and I'm fairly certain that her response would be very different; and she too is putting God first.