Is This Really Necessary?

Let me start this post by making the following statement....HEAVEN HELP ME, I HAVE A MIDDLE SCHOOLER. That is just now starting to sink in, although she has been in school for over a month. I spent my morning previewing a video, that is about sexual relationships, which will be shown to all the 6th graders. Of course you have the option to opt out if you don't want your child to view it. I decided to view it before I made any decisions. In 4th and 5th grade, the kids see a puberty/hygene video (which I previewed as well). I thought it was completely appropriate and didn't give too much information, just facts. Then at parent night, a few weeks ago, the PE teacher tells us they will be showing a puberty video and another video which is only for 6th graders. I was listening intently, as she described the video, until she said the words "date rape" and from then on, I didn't hear another word she said.... I felt faint, my mind was a whirlwind, and I couldn't catch my breath. Date rape??? My girl is only 11 years old, and she is definitely not dating. I kept asking myself, Is this really necessary? Sex to 6th graders??? Is it necessary to introduce them to this so early? I have thought about it a lot over the last few weeks and today I finally went to preview the video. I knew she wouldn't be seeing any video (that describes date rape or any other type of sex) until I had seen it first and could make an appropriate decision. As I'm watching it, the looming question arises once again: Is this really necessary? Is it? Then I start looking through the student manual that they will go over with the kids after they see the video, and I realize that unfortunately it is. I bet there are so many kids whose parents don't talk about the birds and the bees with them, and I know there are a lot of kids who don't talk to their parents. I don't think all parents choose to ignore the "sex" talk, but they don't know what to say or how to bring it up. I know that Addi and I had a talk a few years ago, when she made the following statement.....everyone has a mom but not everyone has a dad. I asked why she thought that, and she named a few people whom we know that don't have contact with their dads. I realized that my 9 year old really had NO clue about how babies are made, and that she really and truly believed in emmaculate conception. How I would have loved to leave it at that. But unless you are the virgin Mary, there had to be a man to help put the baby there. So the talk began.....I told her the basics, that men and women have to have sex to have a baby, and that GOD is a big part. God is active in your relationship (if you allow Him in)and should be a big part of your married life. I did tell her that I believe that God doesn't cause people, that want children, to not be able to have children. Sometimes there are extenuating circumstances (which do not allow some couples to have bilogical children), and He can change those if He chooses. But for some reason, which we may not understand, He doesn't change them(those are my beliefs). We discussed how some people choose to have sex before they are married and that her father and I believe in waiting until you are married to have sex. Sex is a gift from God to married people (our mission statement). Then came the BIG question and the conversation to follow....Addi, do you know what sex is? She said "It's a bad word". Why would you think that? Some kids looked it up in the dictionary at school. What did it say? It said love make. Oh that's just another way to describe sex. Addi honey, sex is not a bad word; but it is an inappropriate word for 4th graders to be discussing. Okay mom. END OF CONVERSATION. I've learned over the years, that I tend to over explain things. I've also learned when Addi is overwhelmed and done with the conversation, and so there were no further details given at that time. Does she really understand what sex is? No, she doesn't; but I do know now that she's heard about sex even before I discussed it with her (from friends at school who looked it up in the dictionary). Is this really necessary? Yes I think it is. If parents aren't talking to their children, they are still going to hear it. Don't you want them to hear an honest, accurate and appropriate description from you? I do. I want her to trust me and not feel like I'm hiding things from her. It makes me sooooo sad to think that we have to prepare 6th graders for date rape, unprotected sex, teenage pregnancy and unhealthy relationships; but it makes me feel much better to know that we can also explain ABSTINANCE and that sex is God's gift to married people. Will Addi see the video? Probably... but not without a discussion at home first....she has no idea what rape is or unprotected sex is or even abstinance is, but fortunately the video sums up the whole sexual relationship with the explanation of abstinance. The video is actually done pretty well and appropriately, but I do also feel like it puts ideas in kids' minds that might not have been there before. It makes me sad to know that there is a need to have to introduce these topics so early, to 11 year olds. It makes me really tired and my head hurt to think that I have to do this at least 3 more times (NPayne can cover it with Cal, and with Cal having autism-that probably won't be until he's a grown up - Mr. Payne is getting off easy THIS time).

The above blog contains my beliefs and morals, I'm not trying to preach a sermon about abstinance or tell you what to do. I am encouraging you to talk to your children, and I am stating how this subject will be handled in our home.