Tuesday, November 25, 2008

NPayne-How I love this man!

NPayne is truly the greatest guy I know, and I'm not just saying that because I've been married to him for almost 17 years and because I know he will read this post and because he writes me poems and because he did the dishes last night and because he's HOT! I'm saying this, because it's true. My mama is disabled and with her being a widow and me being an only child, there is a lot of responsibility that lies on MY shoulders. Sometimes it can be exhausting....what with the busyness of life in general and the fact that I have 5 children....I try not be overwhelmed by it all and just be so grateful that I still have my mother.
Yesterday she needed to go to the doctor for a routine visit, and when I say routine I mean anything but. When I take my mama to the doctor, it is literally a 4-5 hour investment. This is mainly because of the time it takes to get her out of the house, into and out of a car, into and out of her wheelchair, into and out of the doctor's office, and into and out of the wheelchair again, into and out of the car again, and then into her home. Then add in the wait time, drive time, etc. Fortunately her doctor is really wonderful about "working her in," so she doesn't have to wait forever while sitting in her fairly uncomfortable wheelchair. However you have to go when he's available. It just so happened that he was available yesterday. NPayne had taken the day off for us to go visit our friends and go fishing on their private lake. My mama said that if NPayne took her, it would be a much shorter investment of time; because they could go to the doctor's office which is closer to our house. The office I take her to has wheelchairs, that you can borrow, which inadvertently keep me from having to load and unload the chair from the trunk; BUT that office is a half hour away. The office, closer to us, doesn't have wheelchairs to borrow; BUT NPayne can get hers in and out much easier than I can. He graciously agreed (as he always does). He and Cal headed over to pick her up yesterday morning. Now this is where my story changes angles....
While they were waiting in the waiting room, NPayne said there was an elderly woman who was intently watching them...especially Cal. He said that she was studying him and listening to Cal say things like "coming up next only on KERA, say it with me dad" (now I don't know that is what he was saying, but that is one of the things he repeats often and has you repeat with him. I was using it as an example). Now if you have read my blog before, you know that my son has Autism/FragileX; and you know that he has very quirky behaviors. NPayne said she finally just outright asked him after watching him for a little while..."Does he have Aspbergers?" NPayne graciously answered (as he always does) that no he didn't have Aspbergers, but that he did have Autism. As they were leaving the doctor's office, NPayne said the lady waited for them at the elevator; so she could talk to him more about Cal. They discussed general things about our boy, and she told him her daughter was a special ed teacher and had worked with children affected with Aspbergers. Her daughter had since moved on to teach something else, but she said her daughter really wished she was still teaching the special needs children. When NPayne was telling me about this, we both had the same thoughts....wow it's nice to have someone just ask you instead of just stare or make rude comments (which he handles MUCH better than I do), and it's nice to know that there is someone who really enjoyed teaching special needs children. I will tell you, from experience with special ed teachers and observing in Cal's special ed class (when he was 3 and 4 years old), that being a special ed teacher is HARD, EMOTIONAL, PHYSICAL, and WORTH IT. Many special ed teachers get "burn out," because it can be so emotionally and physically draining; so they move on to teach "typical" children or teach something else. It was nice for that elderly lady to tell NPayne that her daughter missed teaching special ed.
Back to original angle....NPayne and Cal returned my mama to her house and then came home. I thanked him for taking her. We went back to her house later last night, to do a few things for her, and to let our 4 "big" kids spend the night with her. NPayne repaired something in her fridge, helped me hang a few pictures; and he hung this monstrous wall decoration (that she loves) on the wall. We came home, he played with Elli before putting her to bed, and then we snuggled up on the couch and watched a movie together. Did I mention I love this man? NPayne is a gracious father and son in law, and he is the best husband in the world...honest he is; and he's mine!
I LOVE THAT picture of NPayne and Cal, so I had to post it at some time.


Kingdom Mama said...

Awwww...how wonderful!

Anonymous said...

I have had this conversation in the past about people staring not to be rude but because it is familiar or they have questions. A lot of folks see parents of disabled kids as territorial and they are afraid to ask questions because they don't want to offend & get yelled at. I'm glad this lady spoke up :)

Following Him said...

NPayne is such a wonderful man and these kids words prove it. This was just sweet!

Mom2three said...

This was so touching! Your love and dedication to each other is evident! Especially when so many we know have been left to raise children on their own, as their husbands have left them. What an encouragement and testament to have NPayne, the respect and love that he not only gives you, but your children and Mom as well. May we not take those wonderful men that God has given to us, for granted.